Nguyễn Diệu Hương
(dieuhautotbung)
Thành viên danh dự
To Hang: oh, I'm sorry. but what question?
The Toefl essay is easy. Don't worry. I got 6/6
The Toefl essay is easy. Don't worry. I got 6/6
Writing center - If you want to improve your writing skill
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Nguyễn Diệu Hương
Lý Tuấn Minh
(eminem10a1)
New Member
don't say that, u r scaring the hell out of me, i get like 4 out of 6 ok so, it's not a cinch for me, like it was for u. 
( oh yea, btw, wtf is twe???
( oh yea, btw, wtf is twe???
Đặng Thái Hằng
(Thái Hằng)
New Member
wow 6 out of 6? it is so great, Toefl is not so difficult but it's not easy to get 6. What mark do u often get in Mr. Nghiem's class? ever >9?
Oh my God, what's the question? u'r the 2nd person askin' me this. I wanna ask u the reason why u said that my essay is fine while it's completely not reasonable?( very awkward in terms of idea)
To Min : TWE test of written English, wat's the use of wtf?
Oh my God, what's the question? u'r the 2nd person askin' me this. I wanna ask u the reason why u said that my essay is fine while it's completely not reasonable?( very awkward in terms of idea)
To Min : TWE test of written English, wat's the use of wtf?
Nguyễn Diệu Hương
(dieuhautotbung)
Thành viên danh dự
Mr Nghiem's class? oh, I lost all my essays in that class ( dunno who's keeping them). I got 9.5 sometimes but for the rest I got 7 and even 6 out of 10.
I have never said that your essay is unreasonable. You can confirm by reading all my posts so far. I also don't know why other people find it unreasonable
Don't worry too much about it. You will make it, I am quite sure.
out of 10.I have never said that your essay is unreasonable. You can confirm by reading all my posts so far. I also don't know why other people find it unreasonable
Don't worry too much about it. You will make it, I am quite sure.
Nguyễn Diệu Hương
(dieuhautotbung)
Thành viên danh dự
most of Toefl essays are argumentative ones. Just take a side, give some reasons. Then find out some opposite arguments. Then conclude./.
Btw, you used another essay for Suffield, right? Is your name Lauren Neo? It took me half an hour to match your essay and your profile as I had to finish matching all others' first.
Btw, you used another essay for Suffield, right? Is your name Lauren Neo? It took me half an hour to match your essay and your profile as I had to finish matching all others' first.
Nguyễn Quỳnh My
(nguyenquynhmy)
Thành viên danh dự
Huong, let's keep this thread as a writing center...
i think u guys 'd better talk abt suffield either in the suffield thread or Pms,
Best,
- My
i think u guys 'd better talk abt suffield either in the suffield thread or Pms,
Best,
- My
Đặng Thái Hằng
(Thái Hằng)
New Member
I've given a very nice essay.
Community Breakdown
As the world is developing rapidly, changes have made their way to one of the most fundamental structures of the society: communities. Even in such an oriental country as Vietnam as sense of community is gradually fading, especially in main cities. This has come about due to several reasons.
First of all, it was the keen competition in the labor market that has indirectly brought about the community breakdown. Obsessed with the instantly increasing rate of unemployment and aware of the threat of being fired, people are keeping their nose to the grindstone just to keep their jobs. While the steady job is a dream for beginners, a promotion is the target to hit for an old hand. They do part-time job, take on extra work and even turn their home into another office. The eight- hour working day is no longer sufficient to finish the workload. It is now common for many people to work ten hours a day, or during weekends. Even for those who are still in their teens, the worry to have an occupation is not too early. In order to survive the “ harsh battle”, many Vietnamese students have been made by their parents to cream their heads with knowledge, hoping to get good jobs after graduation with excellent certificates. As a result, most of them are worn out by the time they get home. It is, therefore, understandable that they rarely have enough time for their neighbors. The community begins to crack down.
The second reason for the lax in community is the increased need for independency which has, to some extent, become seclusion. People try not to interfere in others’ affairs. They, in return, want their own private life to be respected. The social interaction between people is no longer a sign of pure care for a Vietnamese to visit his neighbors just to have a chat. Instead, it has been regarded as an action out of the ulterior motives.
Security is another reason. The crime rate is higher than ever before. Reports of murderers, kidnaps and burglars are numerous in the mass media. Home, for that reason, has turned into a safe haven for people. There is always a good excuse for not going out. This may also partly explain the recent trend in house construction. A once popular common type of construction: a playground surrounded by a group of houses, has now been replaced by separate apartments with tiny playgrounds included. Communication within the closest community is accordingly sparing. Decreasing security then gives birth to a loss of faith. Small children are taught not to speak to strangers. Adults are convinced there is no deed out of pure goodness. The community as a solid unit begins to break down.
Finally, the development in telecommunication, particularly the case of the Internet, is a factor in the breakdown of communities. While making people living a great distance from each other closer, telecommunication is, ironically, pushing nearby neighbors farther away. Phone calls, letters and emails are preferable to direct conversations and visits. It’s even projected that in the near future, one won’t need to go to work. He/she can stay at home and work at the same time through a connected computer. There would be no need to go out as online serviced are available at this fingertips. If that is the case, human being will be reduced to merely a machine.
The breakdown in communities has brought about serious results. A lack of communication skills is the most obvious consequence. However, more dangerous is an apathy typical of modern societies which takes its toot from this breakdown. Several reports have been made on assault cases in broad daylight yet the victims received no help from passers-by or on-lookers. It if time we spared just a minute in our hectic life to care for others. Because after all, no man is an island.
This essay is written by Nguyet Anh(Smith) when she was in ams. Just feel free to comment coz i know she would love to see us learn smt from her work. ( to chi Cathy yeu qui, em noi co dung ko? hi`hi`)
Community Breakdown
As the world is developing rapidly, changes have made their way to one of the most fundamental structures of the society: communities. Even in such an oriental country as Vietnam as sense of community is gradually fading, especially in main cities. This has come about due to several reasons.
First of all, it was the keen competition in the labor market that has indirectly brought about the community breakdown. Obsessed with the instantly increasing rate of unemployment and aware of the threat of being fired, people are keeping their nose to the grindstone just to keep their jobs. While the steady job is a dream for beginners, a promotion is the target to hit for an old hand. They do part-time job, take on extra work and even turn their home into another office. The eight- hour working day is no longer sufficient to finish the workload. It is now common for many people to work ten hours a day, or during weekends. Even for those who are still in their teens, the worry to have an occupation is not too early. In order to survive the “ harsh battle”, many Vietnamese students have been made by their parents to cream their heads with knowledge, hoping to get good jobs after graduation with excellent certificates. As a result, most of them are worn out by the time they get home. It is, therefore, understandable that they rarely have enough time for their neighbors. The community begins to crack down.
The second reason for the lax in community is the increased need for independency which has, to some extent, become seclusion. People try not to interfere in others’ affairs. They, in return, want their own private life to be respected. The social interaction between people is no longer a sign of pure care for a Vietnamese to visit his neighbors just to have a chat. Instead, it has been regarded as an action out of the ulterior motives.
Security is another reason. The crime rate is higher than ever before. Reports of murderers, kidnaps and burglars are numerous in the mass media. Home, for that reason, has turned into a safe haven for people. There is always a good excuse for not going out. This may also partly explain the recent trend in house construction. A once popular common type of construction: a playground surrounded by a group of houses, has now been replaced by separate apartments with tiny playgrounds included. Communication within the closest community is accordingly sparing. Decreasing security then gives birth to a loss of faith. Small children are taught not to speak to strangers. Adults are convinced there is no deed out of pure goodness. The community as a solid unit begins to break down.
Finally, the development in telecommunication, particularly the case of the Internet, is a factor in the breakdown of communities. While making people living a great distance from each other closer, telecommunication is, ironically, pushing nearby neighbors farther away. Phone calls, letters and emails are preferable to direct conversations and visits. It’s even projected that in the near future, one won’t need to go to work. He/she can stay at home and work at the same time through a connected computer. There would be no need to go out as online serviced are available at this fingertips. If that is the case, human being will be reduced to merely a machine.
The breakdown in communities has brought about serious results. A lack of communication skills is the most obvious consequence. However, more dangerous is an apathy typical of modern societies which takes its toot from this breakdown. Several reports have been made on assault cases in broad daylight yet the victims received no help from passers-by or on-lookers. It if time we spared just a minute in our hectic life to care for others. Because after all, no man is an island.
This essay is written by Nguyet Anh(Smith) when she was in ams. Just feel free to comment coz i know she would love to see us learn smt from her work. ( to chi Cathy yeu qui, em noi co dung ko? hi`hi`)
Nguyễn Quỳnh My
(nguyenquynhmy)
Thành viên danh dự
Nguyet Anh's the author?
I would be so admiring her if she hadn't used any references for her essay. It sounds, unexpectedly like one of Putnam's writings about the national interest in America.
I would be so admiring her if she hadn't used any references for her essay. It sounds, unexpectedly like one of Putnam's writings about the national interest in America.
Lý Tuấn Minh
(eminem10a1)
New Member
that was a good essay, sounds very ...
Đặng Thái Hằng
(Thái Hằng)
New Member
Maybe because it was written a long time ago so it might sound a bit familiar to you. The matter is that the topic given was :
"In your opinion what is the change that societies nowadays are most likely to face?"
Thinkin' out the "change" is the hardest phase i think. How come community breakdown was chosen but nothing esle? How about sexual trend, denationalization of young generation?
Not talking about writing skills, talk abt the idea and knowledge, sis My and others who have paper due every week there, can u tell me how to get idea like such?
"In your opinion what is the change that societies nowadays are most likely to face?"
Thinkin' out the "change" is the hardest phase i think. How come community breakdown was chosen but nothing esle? How about sexual trend, denationalization of young generation?
Not talking about writing skills, talk abt the idea and knowledge, sis My and others who have paper due every week there, can u tell me how to get idea like such?
Nguyễn Quỳnh My
(nguyenquynhmy)
Thành viên danh dự
Đặng Thái Hằng đã viết:
Sexual trend's thingy is of the 60s, so is wat u call "denationalization".......
To HLVH: that knife is not sharp enough
Đặng Thái Hằng
(Thái Hằng)
New Member
" Sexual trend's thingy is of the 60s", if i'm not wrong, this's in the West, but we are talking about Vietnam. (??)
So what's ur opinion? apart from community breakdown?
To HLVH: I dont believe in the so-called "gifted students". what's the core reason anyway?
So what's ur opinion? apart from community breakdown?
To HLVH: I dont believe in the so-called "gifted students". what's the core reason anyway?
Nguyễn Quỳnh My
(nguyenquynhmy)
Thành viên danh dự
Đặng Thái Hằng đã viết:
Nguyễn Diệu Hương
(dieuhautotbung)
Thành viên danh dự
about Nguyet Anh 's essay ... I don't know how long it will take me to write such an essay.
Just a thought ..I don't really understand the first reason. It seems a little bit irrelevant. For instance, in the U.S, people work 8h/day and have weekends but the comunities still seem to break down. Without that paragraph, the essay will still be very nice.
Just a thought ..I don't really understand the first reason. It seems a little bit irrelevant. For instance, in the U.S, people work 8h/day and have weekends but the comunities still seem to break down. Without that paragraph, the essay will still be very nice.