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A/N: Thou shalt honor thine reviewers even if it kills thee and even if thou art afraid of that little mob forming yonder... I owe you all a lot...and I humbly thank you from the bottom of my twisted little heart:
.. thoughts ".." speech
Oi...TwiTcH ...Let’s get dis show on da road.
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Chapter 4- How To Use The "F" Word And Get Away With It
Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands (as if there were any other) lay upon his bed waiting, with his armor off (A/N: but still clothed people, get your minds outta da gutter... mutters while mopping the drool off the floor), listening and altogether getting p.o.'d at Rin's lack of speed.
A few seconds later, he could hear the hurried footsteps of his human coming up the stairs. Her hurried footsteps...or was that the beating of his heart? Or the pounding of his skull? But when a door opened, it wasn't his. He heard her moving around in her room next door. Curiosity filled him as a loud THUMP followed by several crashes came. The words that followed made the Lord wonder where his human was getting her colorful vocabulary education from. He had to admit, even -he- didn't know some of the words she was using. Humph, he thought, It must be a human thing. A second later, Rin kicked the adjoining door open as she tried to unsuccessfully juggle all sorts of miscellaneous items in her arms. Sesshoumaru tried to remain expressionless but it was painfully difficult. What on earth did she think she was doing?
"Rin," he said calmly, "I am ill, not dying."
"Yes...well Jaken could argue with that," she mumbled. "Actually, a lot of this is food and...ah...what's left of the plates. The rest are mine. I'm going to stay here with you until you feel better."
A "you're pulling my tail, right?" eyebrow went up on the lord's otherwise expressionless face. This was just too much and he couldn't decide weather he was loving the idea or hating it. He could handle the girl up to a certain point but then it just became too…nerve-hurting.
"Yes, I know," she blushed, "I'm not exactly far away-"
"We are separated by a single door."
"And what a door it is..." she remarked, silently thanking the gods that it was still up, standing well and not reduced to a pile of ashes as of yet.
Geez...this wasn't going to be easy, was it... Time to resort to Plan B. Her blush darkened as Sesshoumaru decided that he would rather not inquire about the door comment.
"It will make things easier for me and this way I can keep an eye on lizardman's comings and goings so he doesn't spend more than two minutes annoying you. Ok?" She asked hopefully, putting on the most pitifully sweet puppy-dog eyes.
Curse her. There is a strategy behind all this. Feh. She has won again. The wench has learned well. He felt like ramming his head into a wall...than again why risk his own head... Jaken's would suffice just as well...hmmm...
Well, he thought, this shall be an adequate test of self- control...should I fail...ah yes, such a shame that would be. He chided himself sarcastically. But let us not be hasty and tasteless about this...
Rin stood there still waiting for a response. He had been giving her the "I'm balancing your pitiful life in my hands" look for a while now. But this look also had an alternate meaning which, in layman's terms translates to: "You're getting good at this and I am thoroughly displeased. Die."
Gosh, she thought, Poor Sesshoumaru-sama...he must really be losing it... She sighed out loud. The lord snapped out of his daze and turned away to look at a rather interesting nothing that had caught his attention at the moment.
"Do as you wish." Came the calm and uninterested response.
Hah. She thought happily. Rin wins again...The eyes get him every time... Fluffy didn't raise no fool. But some things are just meant for thought and wisely left unsaid. Of course, now giddy with excitement over her new roommate (roomie) status, getting caught up in the moment is inevitable.
Dazed and unawares she thanked him. "Thank you Fluffy-sama. I'll just get the rest of my things." And what a thank-you it was. Well, Rin had just used the "F word" without even realizing it. Dumb move, you say? Considerably.
Merrily she went to her room to gather more useless essentials, her previous choice of words being the farthest thing from her mind.
Sesshoumaru sat upright in the bed. His eyes were squinted and his expression quite agitated. Apparently he had not taken a liking to his nickname. Calmly and with as much pride and arrogance as the situation demanded he placed two clawed hands up to his head and pat his hair and bangs down, all the while thinking Perhaps, Sesshoumaru, a haircut is in order.
When Rin came back into the room minutes later, her body heat betrayed the excitement she so desperately tried to hide. She really was ecstatic about all this and silently, she asked someone, anyone, just why he didn't get sick more often. Damn these dog demons and their good health...
As he ate, she moved around the room silently sticking her face behind anything and everything so as to hide the redness. Sesshoumaru was thoroughly amused as he stole glances her way whenever she wasn't looking. This was going to be harder than he had first anticipated. Her heat was insanely distracting. On the other hand, Rin felt like an overdone tomato insistently being turned on a spit under a blazing summer sun. Turning the spit and taunting her were little demons that refused to release her. They oddly resembled Jaken...Never a good sign. But what a perfect time for our friend "The Voice" to put in an appearance.
Rin...
No! I won't!
I haven't said anything yet.
But you were going to.
That is inevitable.
Aha!
Sigh Rin...
You keep calling me that.
Yes, sadly enough it cannot be helped as that happens to be your name...
I see your reasoning. You know, you have the worst timing. I happen to be very busy.
Busy trying to hide your face and your heat? My dear, I doubt that standing naked in a snowstorm would be enough to stand in the way of those raging hormones. Don't think that he hasn't noticed and make no mistake that it amuses me greatly to see you in this mess.
I'll bet it does, you-
Oi! Let's keep this PG-13!
Grrrrrr
Answer me this-
Why should I?
Because I will not leave until you do so.
Good girl. Just what exactly are you hoping to accomplish by this?
Absolutely nothing! Why must you always think I have an ulterior motive?!
I am your conscience... I am not at ease...shall I spell it out for you?
I get the creepy feeling you're not going to leave without lecturing me
I know...I'm the one giving you that feeling
Just get it over with.
Brilliant strategy you applied back there and I can say without a doubt that...you are well on your way to irritating the master in his already weakened state you nitwit. Can't you see him? Poor Sesshoumaru-sama must have an impossibly painful headache. Just look at him, he keeps patting his head when he thinks you are not looking. And here you are, a walking bonfire. Why not just shrivel up and be done with it? That ought to be entertaining. Hehe...Wait, I had a point when I started...let me think now... Ah, yes. The point here RIN, is: let him have some peace away from you. He has most certainly earned it.
Hey, weren't you the one who told me not to leave him?
That was different.
How so?
You weren't attempting to smother him then
True...heeeeey -!
Shut it half-pint. You know I'm right.
But-but! Aw man...but he said I could stay!
He said nothing of the kind! You have a habit of hearing what you wish to hear rather than what is said.
Humph! I refuse to cooperate with the likes of you.
Somehow I thought you would. Need I remind you that annoying Sesshoumaru- sama would not be to your advantage.
Listen you, I've been irritating him for ten damn years and I'm not about to stop now, got it? Now I appreciate your concern but I think this lecture is over.
Think nothing of it. And consider the lectures as a sort of bonus out of the goodness of my heart. What would you do without me?
Probably go back to being normal.
Oh perish the thought...
Grrrrr... and with that she started swatting at her head again, trying to get that ridiculously annoying voice to go away. Sesshoumaru watched the scene being played before him in confusion. She kept hitting her head. Was there something she was trying to tell him? After that fluffy comment, one can never be sure...
"Rin what seems to be the problem." he asked sounding terribly unconcerned.
"Ah...there was a...fly?" She tried lamely and he turned away. Women...you just never knew...and if you are a man, you are forever fated to either misunderstand or just plain not understand. The laws of nature forbid otherwise.
Oh great. Five minutes as roommates and already I'm pissing him off. I've really outdone myself this time. Hmm...I feel somewhat proud...hehe...
Several long and dull minutes passed in silence but the air was hot and thick with tension. Either that or the A/C needed to be replaced (A/N: just kidding...hehe). Rin was trying very hard to work her heat down by adjusting this and that around the room and moving her stuff in. Sesshoumaru was trying very hard not to look at her while she was doing this but her heat was always there, tickling and testing his senses. The silence was very disturbing. Rin was now very close, moving around the bed. This was the perfect time for a little amusement. Suddenly, without much disturbance to his relaxed form, he reached out a hand to Rin's wrist and pulled her to a sitting position on the side of the bed next to him.
Oh for goodness' sake, why'd you have to go and do that? Damn...just as I was cooling down a little...
Time for Plan B he thought smugly.
"Rin, do you remember the day our paths first crossed?"
Yes, go ahead, put me on the spot with that question... How could I forget, you baka, I've only been in lo-... er...cared about you a lot since then.
"How could I forget Sesshoumaru-sama. I thought you were an angel because of your white form. Of course, that didn't last long..."
"I should think not." He stated decidedly and a little annoyed. Angel indeed...I would rather be a hanyou.
"Why do you ask?" Rin inquired eagerly. Something in her heart was begging for a little escape of emotion from the lord as her thoughts took a trip down the bumpy road of memories. Her heart beat a little faster, hoping that he would say something like: 'from that day onwards I knew that you would grow to be the only person I could ever care for...and love...'
Yeah, right. Come on she thought, Sesshoumaru would rather kiss Jaken, apologize to Inuyasha for everything that has passed, heartily accept him back into the family and consider humans equals than speak from his heart...hmmm...perhaps the situation is looking hopeful??
"I hardly remember that day." Sesshoumaru...what a charmer. But this was his little way of getting back for those puppy-dog eyes. Score one for this Sesshoumaru. Now why was he having such a hard time taking his hand away from her wrist?
Why you baka for brains...getting back at me, huh...you pig headed, stubborn, pompous, flu- A/N: ok kiddies let's just censor the rest 'cause she's about to use the "F word" again.
"Sesshoumaru-sama? Has anyone ever told you that you really have a way with words?" she asked, her voice trying to equal his own bored tone.
"Perhaps, though they have not lived to tell about it."
"Ah. Point well taken..." Now take your damn hand away before I burn us both to a crisp. How do you take your Sesshoumaru-sama ma'am? I'd like mine well done, thank you.
Sesshoumaru kept on staring at her as he was having a very hard time trying to identify that look in her eyes. He could hear her heart beating faster every second and it certainly did not help to slow his own. Suddenly, he took his hand away from her wrist and brought it up to her head, tucking her hair behind her ears so that he could get a better look at her beautiful tomato face. He absent-mindedly began to stroke her hair but the eye contact remained unbroken. The situation, beautiful and serious to the core, complicated itself even more as his head slowly lowered closer to hers. Just a few more inches and his lips would touch hers. It seemed perfect...
WHAM The door crashed open.
"MAAAAASTEEEEEEER!" Jaken cried hysterically as he lunged himself onto the stunned lord's kimono and cried his eyes out on the fabric.
Sesshoumaru simply sat there, his hands now at his sides, where they belonged mind you, expressionless but angered beyond words. Of course, there was nothing left to do but conceal his feelings with a look of indifference but Jaken was going to pay for this...dearly.
"Oh Master! I was so worried... I thought you were dying! I had no idea what this stupid human was doing to you-"
Of course, some are not as careful in concealing their anger as others...And for a human, Rin had a very impressive growl.
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Watch it Kermit (A/N: sorry, couldn't resist again
" she forced through clenched teeth. This can't be happening...please tell me that Jaken didn't just interrupt us in a wonderfully embarrassing moment and he isn't begging me to squash his worthless life with my bare hands...
"Shut up brat! I know you haven't been giving master any peace so why don't you just make your unworthy self scarce and lock yourself in your room."
"Now hold it right there u little leech, didn't I threaten...er, warn you about this downstairs?!"
Hmmm...now this was getting good. Letting his own emotions surface would just be too risky for the now interested demon lord but hey, if Rin wanted to have a go at killing Jaken then he sure as hell wasn't going to get in her way. He knew he'd hate himself for admitting it but he couldn't help thinking That's my human... Make your Sesshoumaru-sama proud.
"You assumed I would listen to your meaningless babble? Especially when it concerns the welfare of my master?"
"Talk to the hand you overgrown tadpole!
"Talk to my staff you weakling!" he said raising his staff at her and attempting a spell of some sort.
But Rin was ready for it. In an instant she grabbed the staff in one hand and grabbed Jaken by the neck in her other hand. He was kicking and cussing for all it was worth but it was too late. Rin walked out onto the balcony and looked off to the distance.
Hmmm...well, that swamp will have to do...
"I hope you can fly you bug-eyed baka. Humph!"
One Jaken toss and staff swing later, Rin qualified for the Regional Baseball Team of the Western Lands. But seriously folks, the little grasshopper "Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'd" his way across the lands to where it would definitely take him a considerable amount of time to buzz his way back.
Rather proud of herself, she went back into the room with a final huff to a somewhat surprised-but-trying-not-to-show-it demon lord.
"I am impressed." He said simply and looked away.
She blushed but, unfortunately, the mood had already been completely ruined so there was only one thing left for her to do before getting to bed- her own bed, on the floor. Yeah...so let's all calm those raging hormones.
"I must immediately jaken-proof, jaken-ban and de-jaken-ify this room."
About an hour later, her task was completed and the grounds were secured. No evil toadmen would ever get near the room without Rin knowing it. But this day had taken a lot out of her. She was pooped. Noticing that Sesshoumaru had his eyes closed and was breathing peacefully, she crawled into her own bed and let sleep take her. It was no easy task at first, considering the fact that there was an abundant amount of things to think and dream about but sooner or later, the sound of her even breathing filled the room. Rin was dead to the world, in a manner of speaking.
After waiting a while just to make sure, one golden eye slit open and then another. The 'predator' slowly crept towards his 'prey'. He crouched down to lift her up into his arms and place her in his bed. Honestly, the thought of his human sleeping on the floor...how absurd. After he had settled her in successfully without waking her up, he sat and merely stared at her, enjoying this rare peaceful opportunity.
What do you dream about Rin? Who do you see? Maybe he didn't want to know...but he could swear that he did. His thoughts trailed on and on, always leading to the same conclusion: him and Rin were two peas from the same pod. Well, ok maybe that was stretching it a bit. Maybe they were from totally different pods but fate had somehow managed to put them together in their own pod...alone...except for Jaken, of course... Thus the only conclusion can be: they are pod people.
It took him only a few more moments of deliberation but without further ado…
It is a risk, he thought, but I, Sesshoumaru, will not back down from this challenge. I will explain it to her in my own time. and with that, he set a nice pair of fangs on her neck...
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Rin, for once in her life, woke up before Sesshoumaru. It was difficult at first to understand where she was and why her body felt comfortable but then she noticed that she lay in the bed rather than on the floor. Oooo...Goosebumps...pleasant ones. But it was neither nightmare nor mental discomfort that had shaken the girl out of her peace. Something on the side of her neck was killing her; it itched- bad! It was useless trying to sleep it away. She placed her hand on her neck and felt around for the exact source of the pain. It was then that her fingers felt two not-so-small holes. She flew out of the bed and ran to the large mirror in her room. She had been bitten! What a way to start a morning...
"Kyaaaaaa! Sesshoumaru-sama!!!"
She ran in a panic to sit next to his sleeping form as she shook him gently out of his sleep. Perhaps it was not the best of ideas but there was nothing else she could think of.
"Sesshoumaru-sama wake uuuuup."
He cracked an eye open and put up the most beautifully bored look imaginable. Ah, such a priceless picture of indifference. Makes a girl wanna get up and...whack him with something...something really heavy.
"Look!" She said pointing to her neck getting teary-eyed. "I knew we had a pest problem in this place, and this time, I don't mean Jerk-en... it itches like crazy!"
Sesshoumaru forced himself to exercise the utmost self-control in this situation. Well, well... now this was a very unexpected reaction.
"It is nothing. Do not touch it."
"Nothing?! Sesshoumaru-sama look at them! I'll be lucky if I can find corks big enough to plug these things! I bet this was all that little green roach's doing! Somehow...He bit me in the night or something...Why that-" the rest of her speech came muffled as a clawed hand wrapped itself completely around her mouth and pulled her back into a lying position. Her back was facing him and his hand remained. It was just too damn early in the morning to be bitching. But his hand didn't leave her mouth even after she had shut up. This was getting annoying. What to do...? Well, what would any of us do in such a predicament? Of course she bit him! And damn hard too...
He tore his hand away without a sound but the attitude was there. Sitting up and pulling her up with him, she was spun around to face him as he took her face in his other hand, squeezing her cheeks until her eyes bulged open and her lips squished together and puffed up vertically. She became a fish- an attractive fish, but it was a fish nevertheless. He squinted his eyes and studied the girl for a while with a displeased/un-humored look on his face. But deep down, come on, we all know he's amused.
Without releasing her from the rather aquatic position, he sighed, trying to sound angered/disappointed.
SIGH "Human... Where did this Sesshoumaru go wrong?" he asked rhetorically.
"UNG? IOWOW" She tried but it was useless.
And for the first and probably last time this year (Rin was sure), the lord let out something that resembled laughter. Sure enough, it was! Actually it was more of a brief, deep chuckle but let's not concern ourselves with technicalities.
Like I said, Rin thought, Demons!...weirdos...all of them.
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A/N: Feeble ramen...flee before me before I devour thee. I'm sooo full. I just had a phenomenal amount of ramen. I would disgust Inuyasha. Ok folks, time to review and tell me how much u like ramen too! Oo...that rhymes.hmmm...
HHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
