For the guys: finding mates abroad--is it worth it?

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To Guest: dude, wanna chat sometimes? (if u don't mind the fact that i'm only a high school senior, thus you're way more experienced and mature than I am). This is not gay by the way. I find your posts very interesting and would love to get advice from u, as I'm working on a Caucasian girl - kinda relevant to the topic, right?
Btw, do u mind telling me how old are u (what year in college?)
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
to Khach and Ngoc VU: oh man, Please, this is a democratic forum, okay? I just said my opinion. :)) Dont think my opinion is not the same as ur opinion and then u can mark me with some offensive words like silly, bullshit, okay?

and I already said I care abt that, and if u dont, that doesnt matter to me. Dont pick up fights, okay? /:)
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
Haha,
This is quite an interesting topic, I must say. And I enjoy chatting with you guys. I feel glad that you appreciate my opinion. I am an amser also, not much older than any of you guys. I don't really want to reveal my name and stuff, just because I don't feel that much comfortable yet. But sure, if you need any advice, just post it up. I am more than willing to speak up my opinion.
Life is hard but it's quite interesting also,
haha
 
This "haha" guy is not me, the maker of this thread.

Sorry Hang. The more I think of what I said, the more regretful I become. At that moment, however, your words just didn't quite go through my mind. Hope you can understand.

Guys go ahead and post your questions. Though it is uncertain who's more experienced than whom here, I'm sure everybody can share thoughts that may in some way assist you in your conquest.

About working on white girls... what I can say is: if you're shy and think shyness will get you smiles from the girl and that's good, think again. They will show you affection--the polite kind of affection. But this strat doesn't work... I've tried it, and after a while I just find myself kind of pitiful. Be more confident. That almost always work, somewhat evidently. I'm working on that myself. Though I'm still not sure whether I should really go for a white gal...

But sometimes you just can't be confident talking to a gal you know... If it's not something your born with, your in for quite a training.
 
I think Miss Hang is too sensitive. :))

Don't forget that you are in college now. And yes, this is a democratic forum, isn't it?
 
just wonder why you fuckin cowards consider so many mediocre things once it comes to a relationship. so sad that all the innocence n purity of an affection is tainted with sex-related stuff though i dont refute that it should be inclusive -- i just think it'd be all BS if it doesnt come from the heart. So go for whoever makes u fall..... u'll be surprised at how life's leading you.
 
what a smart guest and a smart post :p just wondering who are inclusive in your "fuckin cowards " flock ? A little bit dogmatic here , dont ya think ?

speaking of your viewpoint , If only it would be as easy as the way you depicted .
 
just wonder why you fuckin cowards consider so many mediocre things once it comes to a relationship. so sad that all the innocence n purity of an affection is tainted with sex-related stuff though i dont refute that it should be inclusive -- i just think it'd be all BS if it doesnt come from the heart. So go for whoever makes u fall..... u'll be surprised at how life's leading you.
Nhấn để mở rộng...


Haha,
take it easy my man. If you feel yourself a confident person or got some expertise, then please share it. Also each person has his/her own point of view, which comes from their background. So just please respect it.
I never say I am more experience than any of you guys. I feel myself being a normal guy. all i have done is just speaking my thought. I hope you do the same. Very nice to chat with you guys,
haha
 
Talking about shyness, I think it's the common weakness of most Vietnamese students who come to study here. As most of u already knew, It's just the difference of cultures (Vietnamese vs. American - what a comparison we have here, lol...). Anyway, it seem so hard to get started but once you attempted to accomplish something you had long yearned for, things would work out eventually. First year in America I myself was a loser ,but not anymore! I've gone wild, fuckin with them now. I’m glad that I’ve overcome myself, though i can't say i'm not shy anymore ....

I happen to know some foreign kids who also have some accumulated experience from their past years in America. But they just don't have enough courage to change it and as the result, they're still losers now. Poor 'em! Life is all about trying new things, right? It's more than just sitting in the corner watching ppl having fun ....

Btw, I'm not gonna post any question on this post, since I don't need any advice. I was kidding before (oops sorry)... Still, this is an awesome topic! Keep going guys...
 
still dont get it. u want love comes from the heart, please, sometimes other stuff are not less important.

alright, this is my end post. Do and find a mate watever u want. I dont give a sh!t.
 
This been an interesting topic. Don't let it degenerate.
Totally agreed when affection comes from the heart, nothing else can matter. But the issue is if you're not noticeable, then in your object's heart exists nothing about you. Then no love. So don't you think something a bit outstanding, like height, can help at first steps?
Everything is relative. Setting an absolute standard is also very likely no right.

NON-RESIDENT.
 
guest đã viết:
This been an interesting topic. Don't let it degenerate.
Totally agreed when affection comes from the heart, nothing else can matter. But the issue is if you're not noticeable, then in your object's heart exists nothing about you. Then no love. So don't you think something a bit outstanding, like height, can help at first steps?
Everything is relative. Setting an absolute standard is also very likely no right.

NON-RESIDENT.
Nhấn để mở rộng...


Height, one of the possible physical appeals, does help if one is to impress the other... for a shockingly short period. You are noticeable for a longer time when, compared to others, you stand out in many aspects. Height, which is what I do not lack, keeps me eligible for the subject's love, yet not qualified. With other things like being exotic, asian =D and all, one like me may have a good chance.

Keeping in mind that the environment is America, not Japan(y do I take Japan? dn't no) or Vietnam, we may see that height and other sex appeals don't matter that much (especially in a jock school). It's your personality that is more likely to determine your chance of success.

Then again, damn personality. It's hard to be funny, deep and cool at the same time.

What am I saying? I agree with the preceding post. No standard is applicable for every case. That is why I don't like it when girls say things like girls like boys here cuz they're buff and tall and guys like girls who are sexy and show lots of skin. That's just too much assumption.

But, should we dwell so deeply into this matter? Is it more productive to spend time studying instead? After all we're spending hundreds of millions of dongs here... and i'm not even sure if I should really get serious with a white gal... How indecisive of me.

-Original Pranks...poster
 
>:)

Money iz the only stuffz men should achieve in their lives. Women r indeed sux at all. Dun waste ur time for affairs or smth. They r all BS. Dun ya guys c that ? In my POV, flirtin' should be earnin' $$$$$ just it :mrgreen:
 
Firstly, just wanna remind you guys that only a little more than half of the freshwomen(US) lost their virginity in highschool as I learn it from my first year orientation. Secondly, they also mentioned to us that abstinence in college is perfectly normal and fine. Yeah, I know by the end of senior year that number will probably rise up to 90-95%. Thirdly, at least in my place, my height of 5.4 is about the average for girl. What do I mean by all these facts then?

You definitely can find a white girl who can be suitable for you, and who doesnt judge you FIRSTLY by your ability on bed. Appearance does matter, though. But I have seen more than one couple who go against all the normal types. What makes the difference between you and those guys then? Think about it. Material stuff? I dont think so.

Anyway, just to give you an example of white girls who can be a possibility for a gf as well as your future wife. My roommate from CT, pretty tall, slim, smart, not the prettiest girl in the school, but definitely above average. She's not antisocial or shy. But she doesnt drink, loves dancing but doesnt go to drinking party, just like I. She can sew; she cooks well. She didn't have any serious bf in highschool, and I believe she'll stay a virgin at least until she finds the right guy. Btw, she's not the only one in my floor. She maynot be a model for all of you, but there are other girls.

So there are BUNCH of girls that can meet your criteria, if you become a little bit more open-minded and just don't look at their color. A lot of white girls want to find a soulmate rather than a mating partner, just as you do.

You think it's not gonna work? Why not? You worry about your parents? How are they gonna talk to her? She can always learn Vietnamese, as you wouldnt mind learning Korean if you truly fall in love with a Korean girl and her parents don't speak English right? And I think it's in America that you can find the most "abnormal" girls who are willing to do that!

You think she wont come back to Vietnam with you? Well, some may accept that. Talk to her ahead of time though. If not, there are altenatives. Imagine you get a good job, have a good house and a family, live in a city where the Asian and Vietnamese population is not tiny, your parents wont be lost and can just enjoy a happy life as they possibly can in Vietnam. And in the end, you maybe able to persuade her to try the life in Vietnam as well.

If you choose to be in a relationship with a white girl, or any girl at all, remember this one question that my "brother" (Vietnamese American, 23, Pschology BA, William & Mary college) brings up "Ask yourself whether you are in love with the relationship, or in love with the person who is in the relationship with you." Too often, people are misled, especially if you're studying abroad and feeling lonely.

And because of some reason, you still prefer VNese school and you find no candidate in your school? Check around your area! There maybe girls in colleges within an hour or 2 driving, and that don't seem to bad. Or even if she's far away, but you can try to bring her over(transfer).

I'm a freshman, this is only my second year in the US. I know this will degrade my arguement. But just let me tell you my story. I've been in a relationship with a non-Vietnamese guy for 2.5 years. I just told my parents and not surprisingly, they are not that happy. They start doubting me about coming back to Vietnam. But I know words are not enough to make them believe me when I told them that my boyfriend is learning VNese and he wouldnt mind coming back to VN. I'm truly sad, but my bf and I'll have to prove it to them. Action says more. And btw, he's not even here yet, but he's very likely to go to my uni next year. I can't wait for that. But what if it's not gonna work when we're in the same environment? Too bad huh? But I know I wont regret, because I would have missed a lot without him in the last few years. He has truly been a soulmate and I know I love him as well as the relationship with him. Sometimes you have to take a risk and work your way to make it safer.

My conclusion: luck may but miracle will never come from out of the blue!

Sorry for being wordy, and if anybody knows who I am, just dont say out loud. Thanks.
 
Haha,
there you go gal. Nice thought and very well said.
Keep up with your life and relationship,
Good luck,
Haha
 
Don't really understand the message. Guess because I've never been in such situation. But that's really an admirable relationship. Hope it's gonna work out for you guys.

NON-RESIDENT
 
Thank you guest. Thank you for sharing with us your useful thoughts on the subject. You are right, there are indeed many examples out there where Asian guys do fine with American girls, and I don't doubt that they are all that hard to find. To clarify my stance, though, I have no bias against white girls. They are of the most beautiful kinds.

But it was quite dissapointing to find out that you aren't a white girl yourself at the end... Your assurance of Asian-loving white girls at the beggining really made me think you could be one yourself. Hey, I still value your post, so don't be mad at me if you want to =].

By the way, somtimes it can be extremely tempting to think that the degree of likelihood of a VNmese girl pairing up with a white guy over here is much higher than that of a Vnmese guy with a white gal. Why do I think so? White guys are quite confident about themselves and they know asian girls want them (yah im assuming) and they like exotic people--an american trait. In contrast, asian guys aren't as confident and they can never tell whether they have any chance since not all white girls can like asian guys.

So, while I do not doubt your love for the lucky white guy there, I still have doubts about our chance...

Two families in two parts of the world would be nice indeed. Cheers.

Original Poster
 
But it was quite dissapointing to find out that you aren't a white girl yourself at the end... Your assurance of Asian-loving white girls at the beggining really made me think you could be one yourself. Hey, I still value your post, so don't be mad at me if you want to =].
Nhấn để mở rộng...

Nah, how possibly can a white girl know this forum!!!

By the way, somtimes it can be extremely tempting to think that the degree of likelihood of a VNmese girl pairing up with a white guy over here is much higher than that of a Vnmese guy with a white gal. Why do I think so? White guys are quite confident about themselves and they know asian girls want them (yah im assuming) and they like exotic people--an american trait. In contrast, asian guys aren't as confident and they can never tell whether they have any chance since not all white girls can like asian guys.
Nhấn để mở rộng...

Not all white boys can like Asian gals either! You just havta find the right one for you, girls who cherish the Asian culture and values that you have! And isn't it really fair to say that white boys are more confident. It's the personality trait and anybody can be confident.

So, while I do not doubt your love for the lucky white guy there, I still have doubts about our chance...
Nhấn để mở rộng...

Actually he's not white, but does the color matter that much? The problem here is you focus too much on the complextion and forget what's beneath that skin men.

Thanks all for your support. But don't get distracted by my own story. That's not the point I wanna make, just an example to illustrate that it's not that too hard to find someone suitable for you with a different background. But like I said, luck may but miracle never come from out of the blue. You have to work for it men.
 
Oh my GEE OH DOUBLE DEE
I WANT TO FUCKING **** THOSE THOSE FUCKING FUCKABLE WHITE GIRLS SO FUCKING BAD.
 
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