Anh ơi bơm cho em một nhát.. thế cô thích bơm đằng trước hay sau ?

Ối zời :((
Em từ nay xin cạch không post truyện bậy nữa ạ, xin bầu bác Hải Thanh làm Mod truyện cười luôn ạ :D
 
Anh ơi , em hỏi khi ko phải , chứ "dấn" là cái gì ạ ?
...
Với cả truyện của anh Thanh nghe thô bỏ xừ chả hay gì cả !
 
Chuyện của Hải Thanh càng ngày càng tởm. Thôi, trong bụng còn chứa cái gì tương tự thì xả ra nốt đi, kẻo "tào hỏa nhập ma" thì khổ.
 
Xin mạn phép tiếp thơ bác Tuấn, chẳng qua múa rìu qua mắt thợ, mong các bác đừng chê

Dấn trước vài hơi em chẳng chịu
Bơm sau vài cú chẳng bõ bèn
Đã thế em về tìm "bơm" máy
Về "bơm" thế đ... nào cũng ngon.
 
Hi,

Chuyện của Hải Thanh càng ngày càng tởm.
Nhấn để mở rộng...

Copy đại trên web mấy truyện thể loại này để hối lỗi với bạn Sơn :) :

Môt người đi khám bệnh ở một bệnh viện.
- Bác sĩ ơi, tôi gặp một vấn đề rất nghiêm trọng. Tôi luôn luôn quên mất mọi thứ. Cho dù đó là việc quan trọng tới đâu, mặc cho tôi cố gắng hết sức tôi vẫn cứ không nhớ được gì - Người đàn ông nói.
- Thế ông đã gặp phải vấn đề này bao lâu rồi? - Ông bác sĩ hỏi.
- Vấn đề nào ạ thưa bác sĩ ?!! - Người đàn ông hỏi lại.

(FPTnet)
==========

Vào sáng sớm, bà mẹ đi vào phòng và đánh thức cậu con trai dậy:
- Dậy đi con. Đến giờ tới trường rồi
- Nhưng tại sao lại phải thế hở mẹ? Con không muốn đi đâu.
- Con hãy đưa ra 2 lý do tại sao con không muốn tới trường.
- Một là bọn trẻ không ưa con, hai là những giáo viên họ cũng ghét con nữa.
- Ồ đó không phải là lý do chính đáng đâu. Dậy và chuẩn bị đi nào.
- Vậy mẹ hãy cho con biết 2 lý do vì sao con nên đến trường đi.
- À thứ nhất là con đã 52 tuổi rồi và thứ hai con lại là một hiệu trưởng!!!

(FPTnet)

/Thanh
PS: Truyện dưới bằng tiếng Tây, mình chưa đọc nên đoán chắc cũng trong sáng.

==========

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request.

She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do you sell?"

She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."

"No, I won't."

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax." With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.

She said, "See I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman"
 
Bùi Hải Thanh đã viết:
/Thanh
PS: Truyện dưới bằng tiếng Tây, mình chưa đọc nên đoán chắc cũng trong sáng.

==========

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

........

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman"
Nhấn để mở rộng...

1. Đề nghị anh Thanh không nên nhầm tiếng Tây (Pháp) với tiếng Anh

2. Những chuyện như "One hole behind" ở trên đề nghị anh nên dịch một cách trong sáng và trung thực trước khi post lên cho những ai không biết tiếng Anh (như tôi chẳng hạn) có dịp thưởng thức.

3. Anh nên đánh dấu sao (1 sao, 2 sao, 3 sao ....) theo mức độ không trong sáng của từng câu chuyện và đề nghị chỉ post những chuyện từ 5 sao (*****) trở lên.
 
Bổ sung 1 từ mới tiếng Nhật cho các bạn mới học:

A Texas business man while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although, the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling "Gama Su!, Gama Su!". Hearing this, the Texan knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwards went to sleep.
The next day while playing golf with his Japanese business colleagues, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese. Wanting to impress his friends, the Texan joined in and began yelling "Gama Su! Gama Su!".
Suddenly everyone became quiet.
After a moment of silence, one of the Japanese turned to him and asked:
"Wrong hole? What do you mean wrong hole?"

/Thanh
 
có chuyện này ,dịch ra tiếng Việt ko hay,fải giữ nguyên bản mới được:


A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so
he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to
watch and report any activities while he was gone.
A few days later, he received this report:


MOST HONORABLE SIR,

YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE. HE COME TO HOUSE.
I WATCH. HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW. HE AND
SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE. HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP
HE. HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME. I FALL OFF TREE. I NOT SEE.

NO FEE,

- CHEN LEE
 
A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady. After the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want... and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozin', and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night - whether you're here or not."

/Thanh
 
A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years
her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on. One night she grew tired of this and turned
on the light while they were making love, and saw that he was using a dildo on her.

She says, "Honey, how could you do this! All this time you've never told me.
Explain yourself immediately!!"

The husband says "Okay, I'll explain. But first you explain the kids."
 
One day a guy came out of the local bar, he was extremely drunk.He began to stumble his way around the parking lot with his key in his hand.While he is looking for his car he stumbles past a police officer.
The cop asks the guy if he needs any help.
The guy mumbles out "I've been robbed!"
The cop replies "What has been stolen?"
"My car ,it's gone!" he says.
The cop asks "Where did you see it last?"
"It was right here on the end of my key!"
he says.
The cop then notices that the guy has his ***** hanging out of his pants and its swinnging around.The cop asks "Do you know your ***** is exposed?"
The guy replies "OH SHIT, they stole my girlfriend too!!!!!!!!"
 
Four beautiful ladies walked into a hotel to stay in for the night, the name of the hotel read, "Pleasure Giving Hotel For Women" The ladies were convinced and walked in. On the first floor a sign read, 'the men on this floor can serve having sex'. The ladies were not satisfied and they walked to the second floor which a sign read, 'the men on this floor are good at having sex, can have twice a night, but a bit soft' The ladies were once again not satisfied and went on to the third floor where a sign said, 'There are nothing wrong with the men on this floor, they're good at having sex upto 7 times/night, and real hard' the four ladies were tempted to go in but decided to go to the last floor to see what was in it, when they got there they saw a sign that said, 'There is absolutely no one on this floor, this floor was just made to show that there is no way to please a woman'
 
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