Toast

[Bùi Hải Thanh (thanhbh)]

A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club.

One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and decided to have a contest regarding who could make the best toast. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night with a toast about you Mary."

She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised meself! You know, he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"

 

[Nguyễn Quỳnh My (nguyenquynhmy)]

Anh Thanh con chuyen nao ve Irish ko post len day em xem voi !!

Thanks

 

[Bùi Hải Thanh (thanhbh)]

A man walking with his son in the park one day came upon two dogs humping. The son asks, "Dad, what are those dogs doing?"
The dad says, "Son, I'm about to teach you a very important thing about life, what those dogs are doing is..." But the father can't do it. He thinks of all the questions his son will have. He tries again, "Son those two dogs are..." He stops again and decides to wait until the boy is older.

"Son, you see that dog on top, well his two front paws are hurt and that dog on the bottom is helping him home."

The son turns to his father and says, "You're right dad, that is a very important thing in life to learn."

The dad asks, "Do you know why that is, son?"

The son replies, "Because every time you try to help someone out, you always get screwed."

 

[Bùi Hải Thanh (thanhbh)]

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.
"Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before."

The doctor reassured her, "A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?"

"On my testicles, which is something else I want to talk to you about..."