President George Bush and Condoleza

isis

Hoàng Nhật Minh
(isis)

New Member
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.


END
 
Hay thế ...:D:D...cái này lên phim được đấy nhỉ.....hehehe...;)...
 
:D :D cool anh Minh nhỡ kiếm ở đâu ra đấy
được lắm hihihihi:mrgreen: ;) :D
 
George Bush again

Trên một chuyến máy bay tư nhân, có 5 hành khách, một thương gia, một nhà báo, tổng thống Mỹ George Bush, một ông già và một cậu bé 12 tuổi. Thời tiết xấu làm máy bay hỏng và mọi người phải nhảy dù trong khi chỉ có 4 cái dù. Nhà báo nói:
- "Tôi mang tin khẩn cấp về cho đất nước để cung cấp thông tin cập nhật tình hình chiến trận. Tôi phải sống." Rồi anh ta lấy một cái dù và nhảy
- "Tôi cung cấp tiền bạc đem lại vốn cho cuộc chiến tranh, giúp đỡ những người nghèo khó, làm giầu cho đất nước. Tôi cũng phải sống", nhà thương gia nói, rồi cầm một cái dù nhảy.
Tổng thống Mỹ nói:
- Tôi là người lãnh đạo đất nước, đất nước cần tôi, rồi nhảy xuống
Còn lại ông già trên 60 và thằng bé. Ông già nói:
- THôi ông cũng già rồi, cháu còn trẻ, còn cả tương lai, hãy sống và làm việc có ích cho đời cháu nhé.
- Nhưng mình còn hai cái dù cơ mà ông. Cái ông vừa mới nhảy xuống cầm cái balô cặp sách của cháu mà

;)
 
Thuy Van đã viết:
:D :D cool anh Minh nhỡ kiếm ở đâu ra đấy
được lắm hihihihi:mrgreen: ;) :D
Nhấn để mở rộng...

Trời, em viết nửa tiếng Anh, nửa tiếng Việt làm anh đọc lên giật hết cả mình :D :roflmao:
 
:D Cho em góp vui với:

Sit back and have a few laughs with some classic George W. Bush quotes:

: "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the
country."
: - George W. Bush
:
: "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
: - George W. Bush
:
: "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and
that one
: word is 'to be prepared'."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good
judgments in the
: future."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "The future will be better tomorrow."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "We're going to have the best educated American people in the
world."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We
have a firm
: commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "Public speaking is very easy."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the
polls."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not
occur."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "For NASA, space is still a high priority."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our
children."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in
our
: air and water that are doing it."
: - Governor George W. Bush
:
: "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
: - Governor George W. Bush
 
Bush tiếp ạ

em cũng góp gio góp chấu tẹo nhé ;) :cool:

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped.

Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al thought about what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall.

The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"

BUSH AND POWELL PLAN WORLD WAR III

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"
Bush said, "We're planning World War III."
The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"
Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans


GEORGE W.BUSH'S INTELLIGENCE QUIZ

While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
"Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.

Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
"Now look here Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb ass."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb ass, It's Tony Blair!"


:cool:
 

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Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
hehe... đọc xong tri tưởng tượng của mọi người phong phú hơn thì phải ...:D , mọi người có thì pót tiếp nhé , em đang cần giảm stress..:lol:
 
Cũng góp vui phát:

Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the United Nations.

The only question asked was: Would you please give your most honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a HUGE failure because:

In Africa they did not know what "food" meant;

In Western Europe they did not know what "shortage" meant;

In Eastern Europe they did not know what "opinion" meant;

In the Middle East they did not know what "solution" meant;

In South America they did not know what "please" meant;

In Asia they did not know what "honest" meant; and

In the United States they did not know what "the rest of the world" meant!
 
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