Nguyễn Minh Nguyệt
(FANTASY215)
New Member
First, I really don't know where to put this, since it's more likely to be thrown in TSVB. Yet, it's all written in my crappy English so... I guess I will put it here.
~*~*~*~*~
For those who by chance had to read my post and feel disturbed by it, "I apologize". And as for those who found my writing so mundane and rudimental that it seems almost entertaining, "You are welcome".
~*~*~*~*~
I thinking living for almost a couple of decades, I might still be considered a kid; yet, I guess each of us have somehow met the one(s) that you call call truly "important".
I think not only me, but each of you might have someone special you want to say "thank you" "sorry" or "I love you" before it's too late.
My post is dedicated for the one that is leaving life soon, so please excuse my poor writing skills and the following crumbled words that I managed to write down in state of lack of sanity. Thank you.
When I was three, somebody stole my lollipop, I thought that was the worst day of my life.
When I was six, I boarded a plane I left my country, I thought that was the worst day of my life.
When I was eight, my lunch card was found inside a toilet floating with nasty stuff, my money gone, my backpack tore open, on my picture, it says "filthy yellow-skinned" I thought that was the worst day of my life.
When I was ten, my parents had to leave me alone in an alien country, which I called my motherland without any language, I thought that was the worst day of my life.
When my parents come home after a year, finding me bullied all miserable, and beaten up; being called names such as "a capitalist" by not only by classmates but also by my teacher, it was the worst day for all of us.
When my mother almost died while delivering my abortive younger sister, I thought that was again the worst day of my life.
When I got kicked out of the "Capitally Gifted Students Contest'' contest for the first time in 4 years, I thought that was the worst day of my life.
Yesterday when I received 7 letters of rejection for college application, I almost drowned myself, thinking that was the worst day of my life.
Up until today, I learnt a lesson. There will never be such things called "the worst day of one's life" until one has walked all the way to the end. Papa G.E taught me that; now he is in a comma, likely never to wake up again.
This morning, I was woken up bu the noise of people running in the house, my host mom and host sister sobbing, my host dad looked all gloomy and tired. " G.E... he is sick. He is really sick. He might never wake up..." they told me in between the sobs and hiccups.
His words still echoing in my head "Haha.. you know what, I have lived 82 years of my life full. Even if I'm to die tomorrow by a car or... even bird flu, I wouldn't sit there are asked "Why me""
Yes, shamefully, in all of those "worst days" of my life, the only thing I could do back than was asking "why me?" up until yesterday that was the only way to ease my pain, my shame.
"Why me? I have a 3.9 GPA?"
"Why me? I had a 612 TOEFL"
"Why me? I had a beautiful Resume?"
"Why me? I speak 4 languages?"
"Why me? I can sing, I can dance, I can read, I play the piano!"
"Why me? I have been to 12 different countries!"
"Why me? I've always been the best worker, starting to work since the age of 15"
But life is not all about that ******. Life is about being able to put yourself together through all "the worst days" of your life, like G.E being able to live all his life alone, single, never married; yet, never had the slightest thought of lonesomeness.
"I've never had any romantic relationship, but true love, I have experienced a whole lot". Yes, the 82 years old stubborn guy that refused to replace the silverware since... probably the medieval times, is perishing into ashes soon. Without the significant other, without children, but with a lot of people crying over him; the ones he spent all his life to shelter, to raise them up, not even caring that they are school drop offs, orphans or home runaways. Apart from them, there is a kid, an eighteen year old kid that has only met him one in her life praying for him. Me.
I usually don't pray, if never I might say. I always thought achievement are supposed to be gained by commitments. Begging is shameful. Praying other people, gods or spirits or whatever it is, for luck, for fortune, for success is pathetic. But this morning, I prayed. I prayed for life not to take G.E away. " Shall I or shall I not pray it," I thought, shamelessly bargaining with myself. At last I said it " If you let G.E live, I can give up all the hope to get into college!" To Asians, a promise, a promise within the prayer used to be somehow sacred. Still, I solemnly prayed for G.E to make it, to wake up from the comma, even if I cannot get into any college. Sine I asked myself, how many of those goddamned adcoms could read my application and shed some tears, or at least spared some sympathy, how many of them were not reading the story of my life without a glass of beer or coffee? It's no point in begging for those people's attention while ignoring the only one guy, that read it with his whole heart. The only one that told me " You wrote beautifully, young lady" the only one that spent the whole night reading it, hand-editing it, and wrote me a small note " You are a wonderful young woman now, life is not all about success but however it turns out, don't let it drag you down."
That's papa G.E, and he is dying.
Please God whoever can change time, please don't take him away. There are a lot of people that need him out there.
Papa. Thank you. You never know me. I never got to know you.
The only thing I regret is never got a change to say ''Thank you''. At this point of my life. you really don't know how much your presence means to me.
You really mean a lot to such a lost kid like me.
Nikki
(P/S: I bet there are still a bunch of grammatical errors in the post, please excuse my ignorance.)
~*~*~*~*~
For those who by chance had to read my post and feel disturbed by it, "I apologize". And as for those who found my writing so mundane and rudimental that it seems almost entertaining, "You are welcome".
~*~*~*~*~
I thinking living for almost a couple of decades, I might still be considered a kid; yet, I guess each of us have somehow met the one(s) that you call call truly "important".
I think not only me, but each of you might have someone special you want to say "thank you" "sorry" or "I love you" before it's too late.
My post is dedicated for the one that is leaving life soon, so please excuse my poor writing skills and the following crumbled words that I managed to write down in state of lack of sanity. Thank you.
Dedicated to papa G.E
When I was three, somebody stole my lollipop, I thought that was the worst day of my life.
When I was six, I boarded a plane I left my country, I thought that was the worst day of my life.
When I was eight, my lunch card was found inside a toilet floating with nasty stuff, my money gone, my backpack tore open, on my picture, it says "filthy yellow-skinned" I thought that was the worst day of my life.
When I was ten, my parents had to leave me alone in an alien country, which I called my motherland without any language, I thought that was the worst day of my life.
When my parents come home after a year, finding me bullied all miserable, and beaten up; being called names such as "a capitalist" by not only by classmates but also by my teacher, it was the worst day for all of us.
When my mother almost died while delivering my abortive younger sister, I thought that was again the worst day of my life.
When I got kicked out of the "Capitally Gifted Students Contest'' contest for the first time in 4 years, I thought that was the worst day of my life.
Yesterday when I received 7 letters of rejection for college application, I almost drowned myself, thinking that was the worst day of my life.
Up until today, I learnt a lesson. There will never be such things called "the worst day of one's life" until one has walked all the way to the end. Papa G.E taught me that; now he is in a comma, likely never to wake up again.
This morning, I was woken up bu the noise of people running in the house, my host mom and host sister sobbing, my host dad looked all gloomy and tired. " G.E... he is sick. He is really sick. He might never wake up..." they told me in between the sobs and hiccups.
His words still echoing in my head "Haha.. you know what, I have lived 82 years of my life full. Even if I'm to die tomorrow by a car or... even bird flu, I wouldn't sit there are asked "Why me""
Yes, shamefully, in all of those "worst days" of my life, the only thing I could do back than was asking "why me?" up until yesterday that was the only way to ease my pain, my shame.
"Why me? I have a 3.9 GPA?"
"Why me? I had a 612 TOEFL"
"Why me? I had a beautiful Resume?"
"Why me? I speak 4 languages?"
"Why me? I can sing, I can dance, I can read, I play the piano!"
"Why me? I have been to 12 different countries!"
"Why me? I've always been the best worker, starting to work since the age of 15"
But life is not all about that ******. Life is about being able to put yourself together through all "the worst days" of your life, like G.E being able to live all his life alone, single, never married; yet, never had the slightest thought of lonesomeness.
"I've never had any romantic relationship, but true love, I have experienced a whole lot". Yes, the 82 years old stubborn guy that refused to replace the silverware since... probably the medieval times, is perishing into ashes soon. Without the significant other, without children, but with a lot of people crying over him; the ones he spent all his life to shelter, to raise them up, not even caring that they are school drop offs, orphans or home runaways. Apart from them, there is a kid, an eighteen year old kid that has only met him one in her life praying for him. Me.
I usually don't pray, if never I might say. I always thought achievement are supposed to be gained by commitments. Begging is shameful. Praying other people, gods or spirits or whatever it is, for luck, for fortune, for success is pathetic. But this morning, I prayed. I prayed for life not to take G.E away. " Shall I or shall I not pray it," I thought, shamelessly bargaining with myself. At last I said it " If you let G.E live, I can give up all the hope to get into college!" To Asians, a promise, a promise within the prayer used to be somehow sacred. Still, I solemnly prayed for G.E to make it, to wake up from the comma, even if I cannot get into any college. Sine I asked myself, how many of those goddamned adcoms could read my application and shed some tears, or at least spared some sympathy, how many of them were not reading the story of my life without a glass of beer or coffee? It's no point in begging for those people's attention while ignoring the only one guy, that read it with his whole heart. The only one that told me " You wrote beautifully, young lady" the only one that spent the whole night reading it, hand-editing it, and wrote me a small note " You are a wonderful young woman now, life is not all about success but however it turns out, don't let it drag you down."
That's papa G.E, and he is dying.
Please God whoever can change time, please don't take him away. There are a lot of people that need him out there.
Papa. Thank you. You never know me. I never got to know you.
The only thing I regret is never got a change to say ''Thank you''. At this point of my life. you really don't know how much your presence means to me.
You really mean a lot to such a lost kid like me.
Nikki
(P/S: I bet there are still a bunch of grammatical errors in the post, please excuse my ignorance.)
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