Men are like ...

[Nguyễn Bích Thủy (puppy6)]

Men are Like...

...placemats
they only show up when there's food on the table.

...mascara
they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

...bike helmets
they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.

...government bonds
they take so long to mature.

...copiers
you need them in reproduction but that's about it.

...lava lamps
fun to look at it but not all that bright.

...bank accounts
without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

...high heels
they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

...curling irons
they're always hot and always in your hair.

...mini skirts
if your not careful they'll creep up your legs.

...handguns
keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

What do you think ?

 

[Anh Tran (Anh Tran)]

And women are like:

Credit Cards...
You never know how much you have spent on them, and
at the end of the month they make you cry
Onions...
They make you cry even when you peel their wrappings off.
Blank Checks...
You fill in some amount but they usually bounce at the
bank.
Snow Flakes...
They can be as cold as ice but they'll all melt when they
land on your face
Computers...
They take too long to warm up and better model always
comes along once you get one
Horses...
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.
Parking Meters...
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious
consequences.
Fax Machines...
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just
high-maintenance paperweights.
Political Campaign Contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind
up in bed with them.
Refrigerators...
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you
need one.
Blue jeans...
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and
have to be replaced.
Country Western Songs...
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really
listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.
Newspapers...
You can't believe everything printed on them
Fine Wine...
They start out fresh, fruity, and intoxicating to the mind
and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour
and vinegary and they give you a headache
Beers...
They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your
own mother just to get one
Motocycles...
We all want a @, sometimes want a Spacy, and end up with a
cá ươn (old time motobike)
Parking Spaces...
All the good ones are taken and all that's left are the
handicapped.
Tea Bags...
they do not know how strong they are until they are in hot
water.

 

[Bùi Linh Ngân (Salazar)]

and BOYS AND GIRLS: (bài của Trần Lan Vy ở Forum cũ)

BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : I will give you a call.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIRL?: Do you remember when you proposed to me?
BOY: Yes darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate,burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think,Peter?
Peter: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

 

[Nguyễn Bích Thủy (puppy6)]

However check it out

What does men mean when saying those things :lol:

The Man Dictionary

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."


"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"


"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.


"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works." :lol:


"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."


"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."


"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"


"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." :shock:


"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."


"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."


"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."


"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?" :lol:


"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."


"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." :nono:


"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."


"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again." :razz:

What do you think, girls?