Everyday Diary

tothuylinh

Tô Thùy Linh
(tothuylinh)

New Member
Have you ever written your own Diary? How about an English version? Show your own thoughts, feelings, your up and down in another language, to make it more familiar to you... How's your day today?
 
Today, my first school day began after 2 week holiday, I felt nothing but nervous. You can ask why, it's because there is going to be the Mock exam in 2 weeks; however nothing left in my head up to now.
Is it enough to be everyday diary???
 
It's raining again. The sky is covered with clouds. Roads are wet and slippery. Fields are muddy. In some places, people say there are four seasons in a year: Summer, Fall, Winter and Mud. This "mud" season may be the worst time of the year. Normally I don't like the rain, esp. when I have to walk to classes everyday in high heels. Sounds stupid, doesn't it? Moreover, the rain often makes me sad. Ok, I have to admit that this is even more stupid. If I live in HCMC where half of the year is the rainy season, I will be sad for 6 months. (sigh)
Anyway, not a nice day today. Is it raining at home, too? It is humid in Hanoi now, isn't it? I still remember last spring at home with wet floors and mosquitoes all around :D
Have a nice day, guys.
 
This's supposed to be my assignment to E-Hao, not finished though...


Five years ago, she was a little girl that loved to bounce around some small lakes nearby her school, to talk to the street vendors selling five hundred-bags of sweets in front of the school’s gate, to gossip and criticize some bad adults with friends the way adults often do. Life was easy and lovely as a small girl grew up like many other girls in her neighborhood. She was just like an angel, an angel that no humble-earth-worry could hassle her, no hatred could incubate inside her, and even demons of evil wouldn’t want to hurt her. That was a nice potrait of the girl…five years ago.

…. It would be a great world if everyone possesses the soul of a ten-year-old kid. And even if this world had to evaporate, it wouldn’t be because of we mortals killing ourselves, but because of God who’d been so jealous of the loveliness of our life…
But so bad, so bad that those’re all what we conjure up, though also what we crave for. The circle of this filthy world has grapped people, leaving no grown-up with a little of innocence and imprudence. However wise and thoughtful and competent and bravo and grand one is, one couldn’t sniff at the so opulent images of riches and tempting beauties that this world guiltlessly is laying in front of us. Someone has said, on HAO: “Two in one, sex and money”. May this be the common motto of all Amsers ever studying abroad…

She is finding herself at the mercy of this bunch of contradict directions. Actually over four years fiddling around with contorted drawings on tables at HN-Ams, she was never aware of the fact that she was getting nearer and nearer the frontier between a little innocent kid and a superficial girl. Like any other ambitious amsers, like the main character in Le Dieu Huong’s famous “No title” story, she wanna be significant, wanna be cool, wanna study abroad, to work her own boss in skycrappers, to wallow endlessly in an ocean of money, to “buy my own cars and my own rings” like independent girls in Destiny Child’s songs. Her ego piped up in her mind urging her to win over others by any mean she has. She assumed that things were on track and she just needed to keep going. Sometimes hearing someone saying that future is the only thing people need to look forwards, she unconciously smiled to herself, arrogantly deeming that one’s idea is right…
 
To my journal: I've just made up my mind, maybe i'll have to regret, but.... I don't care.
Things which have to come will come.
 
Why people keep pissing me off!!!! All f*** up!!! Don't they realize that I am hurt? Don't they understand that I have feelings? Why doesn't anyone care what I think, how I feel? I am not plain! Today is a freaky day! :angry:


Damn! I thought I was able to post as unregistered!

Since it's my own diary, hope that no one would mind .... :frown:
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
You say I should find someone I can trust and share all I think. I laugh heartily. No problem. I have many friends, I have to admit that. They are all good friends. And I even have friends who are boys who I can chat for a while. No problem at all. You say you are envious with me. You don't have that many people around. But you have only one person, a special one...
And today I am down. I am such a failure. I need someone by my side. I look around, no one. I log in to YM, no one. I see a friend. Yes, I find someone. But she has to go after 1 minute... What's wrong with me?
Then there are several people asking me what is going on, suddenly I say everything is alright as usual. Don't even want to talk to anyone now...
is there any way to cheer up?
 
Dieu Huong, wat made u so f...ed up? :D
I've been pissed off like you before. The way people around me acted is such crap. I dont know what was wrong with me, but I hate the way they looked at me. It made me feel like dirt...
But U know, we've all gotta b strong... Im tired of such things and become more and more careless about those. They're not worth for me to give a sh*t.

- - - - -
My life has just been ssoooo awesome!!! He is the cutest boy ever. I wrote so many stuff about him in my e-diary, and I wrote even more crazily when I knew that he is still going to my wesite! I was kinda revealing the truth that he is the one I like. But still he has no reaction when we meet in school! I dont know wat to do... Shall I write abt him more.... or shall I stop disturbing him.. I mean... I just want him to give me a sign... If he doesnt like me, I will stop... I dont wanna force ppl or put them in difficult situation............... :)
 
I want to use crappy and dirty words right now but maybe not..........
I am really moody today for a stupid reason and by a crappy stupid person............
everything sucks...........
All people around me sucks..........
Yesterday was such pretty..........
I am like 2 different people just in 2 days............
yester a joyful, laughing gilr...........
And today a desperate, exhasted girl.............
I am scared why my mood is changing that fast? I can't make sense of what I am going through...............
And I am acting silly too............cold and bitter to people..............
I am such a small, immature gỉl.............
Just in 29 days I will be back home...........everything is goonna to be fine..........
MOm and dad will pet me...........I will recieve a lot of attention and I will be happy again.........
To Hương: you can call me if you need that one person............You know I am always listening.........
To Hằng: ask him to go out with you..........try to understand him more........
Boys actually are making my life much better........I am saying it the purest way............it is a comfort to listen to an unthoughtful guy boast about himself...............
May 2, 2004---------kansas, Usa 29 dáy left.
 
This is exactly what I like, people! Though we are writing our private story life, I really want someone else to comment or at least show something that he/she has read it, otherwise, it will be so boring and I wouldnt bother posting anymore

Anyhow, thank you, Thao, hihihi... I really want to ask him to go out but I am... very... aiya... I dont have that bravery! U know every single time I talked to him, my face turned red very obviously... :"> I could not say a word... So, now Im kinda indirectly showing him that it is him that I like... :) Hope he would know eh?

- - - - -
Guys, im taking toefl this afternoon... I'm really nervous since all of my toefl practice scores have been friggin lame! I didnt have time to practice the writing section. Moreover, 2 of the universities that I had completed applying ask for 237 toefl or more.... *dead* :(

got a lot of stuff to do! :( :D

wish me luck!!!! heehehhe :D :D :D
 
mom, plz do not worry 2 much abt "him". :)) i know that u like but, the way u r showing it, i don't think i'd understand (or even notice for that matter). the way u r showing it, just make me curious to c who this girl likes, but i won't ever think that the guy in question is me. If u want him to know, tell him straight on, it might sound lame saying it 2 urself, but just imagine "dad's" face when u r saying it in practice, makes it alot easier to get use to. then, tell him: "i like u". that's the most direct and revealing way. that way, he won't have to guess or try to understand, he just knows that u like him. the rest is up to him, he'll probably tell u if he like u also or not. :D gud luck ma!!! :D
 
To Hằng; In my opinion, it is not neccessary that you have to tell him face to face that I like you so much............
Just try to hang out with him sometimes.........maybe in a group or something.........
Isn't life much more exiting when you have an eye on someone?
That's so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!
I really want you to ask him out sometime and have fun...........
Gosh! That's sweet to fall in love!
 
thank son and guest ;;)
well, what I am thinking now is that I'm gonna let everything go the way it is. But if he still doesnt show that he likes me or even doesnt like me, i will probably tell him that where there is a prom (June 21, I suppose) :D :D :D

Oh yeha,... already finished the Test of English as a Fxxxing Language :D :D . To be honest, it was out of my imagination. My practice mark is nearly 40 marks less than my real one, which makes me very happy. Anyway, I didnt write the essay well, ... hope that i would make 237 or more... :D :(

- - - - -
Ya guys, wanna ask u a question: Does it matter if a girl likes a boy who is younger than her? :D :D
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
I do right now but I feel so desperate about that. He has a girl friend already but that's OK..........everything will go.
Today is awesome. Yesterday was so bad. I was like crying, feeling crappy inside. How hard I tried, I couldn't releive.
People are so sweet to me today, hugging me+ caring for me.
I should know that there are nice people around me.
Gosh, I have misunderstood about everything...........
How come?
It is unfair that I didn't know it until today..............
Just 3 weeks left at school............
I have been suck all the time............
May 3, 2004
 
Damn life!
I am having 3 tests coming and I am so damn lazy right now..........
That's all for today
 
To Hằng: I agree with Khach that it is not necessary to tell the guy directly. From my experiences, there are many ways for a girl to express her feeling to a guy she likes. If that was me, I would try my best to spend more time with him to talk about different stuffs: school, sports, movies, etc... This will give both of you more chance to understand each other more. I know how hard it is to deal with the situation when you like somebody and you can't tell him/ or her about your feeling. It takes a lot of patience and passion for a relationship but if he is the right guy, then the day will come. Wish you all the best ;;) .
The most important thing is always believe in yourself. "You know you have all the equipment and ability, you just need to know how to use it at the right time to the right person :x :biggrin: ." I BELIEVE you can do it and he will notice it soon!
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
I do right now but I feel so desperate about that. He has a girl friend already but that's OK..........everything will go.
Today is awesome. Yesterday was so bad. I was like crying, feeling crappy inside. How hard I tried, I couldn't releive.
People are so sweet to me today, hugging me+ caring for me.
I should know that there are nice people around me.
Gosh, I have misunderstood about everything...........
How come?
It is unfair that I didn't know it until today..............
Just 3 weeks left at school............
I have been suck all the time............
May 3, 2004
Nhấn để mở rộng...

hehe.. sounds so familiar. There must be a stress tendency among teenagers now :D Everyone is so desperated. I am getting much better though :)

oh, btw, don't have to be concerned about that younger guy, there are lots of guys around. Personally, I think an older guy who is smart, mature and thereby reliable will be a good option for me ;)
 
Nguy?n Di?u H??ng đã viết:
hehe.. sounds so familiar. There must be a stress tendency among teenagers now :D Everyone is so desperated. I am getting much better though :)

oh, btw, don't have to be concerned about that younger guy, there are lots of guys around. Personally, I think an older guy who is smart, mature and thereby reliable will be a good option for me ;)
Nhấn để mở rộng...

I dont know whether it's the teenager's tendency, or just among the Vietnamese exchange/high school students in the US this me ( I'm one of them). I have cried so much this year and have never been so pessimistic. Well, everything is almost over now. But as it's drawing to an end, everyday seems longer and I start counting down the days till I'll be with mom and dad and frens again. Then suddenly, I feel kinda sad to live this place without getting to know other people better. Am I feeling sad to say goodbye to them? I dont know.

I tell myself to try to enjoy this last month as much as I can, but still sometimes I'm stressed out and suddenly become so grumpy. It's just hard to tell the heart do what the brain says?

For you all, try to cheer up ( I know it's hard)... but didn't you dream of this land before you came? Wasn't it your decision to choose to go? Well, for me, as I look back, I know I would still choose this way if I got to choose again, no matter how much tear has dripped down this year.
 
Guest, PLease tell me who you are because you are so much like me...............
I have had too many opportunities to know people more and do fun stuff............but I am just so much stupid in everything..........
I have been wrong in my perspective about everything...............
And now it has been all over................
Gosh, I even didn't have a great relationship with my gia đình chủ
What can we do now but feeling anxious about coming home............?
If I could turn back time...................
About younger boys, age shouldn't be a matter in love..........and why don't feel in love witha younger boy if he is right for you............
Don't worry about age. I even felt in love with a gay guy before so............
 
wow!!! I have to admit that I first thought that Guest was you, Thao. You two say exactly the same thing. That's something I used to complain about although I didn't cry that much..:D Maybe that's normal for first year student in the U.S. For the next year, things will be better, I hope so. :) (at least I don't have to worry about boys. I can forget them in my life :)) )
 
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