Hoàng Long
(Death_Creator)
Thành viên danh dự
Guy wins lottery
This guy bursts into his house and shouts, "Pack your bags,
Honey, I just won the lottery!"
She says, "That's wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or
for the mountains?"
He replies, "I don't care-just get the hell out!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WANTED
A tall, well-built woman with good
sense of humor, who can cook frog
legs and who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good luck Mr. Gorsky
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on
the moon, he not only gave his famous 'one small step for
man, one giant leap for mankind' statement but followed it by
several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other
astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered
the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, 'Good luck
Mr. Gorsky.'
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark
concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon
checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or
American space programs. Over the years many people
questioned Armstrong as to what the 'Good luck Mr. Gorsky'
statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
On July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay, FL., while answering questions
following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old
question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr.
Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could
answer the question.
When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in
the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the
front of his neighbor's bedroom windows and Armstrong went
to get the ball.
His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to
pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting
at Mr. Gorsky: "Oral sex! You want oral sex? You'll get oral
sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doing the dishes
A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads in the
newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes
across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on
it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint
condition. He inquires about it with the owner.
"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me
how you keep it in such good shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure
that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub
Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In
fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of
Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the
buyer a tube of Vaseline.
The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He
takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic
(being a Harley fan).
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his
girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's going
to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When
the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her
boyfriend's arm.
"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my
parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk.
In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do
the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the
living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family
room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs,
dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take
advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his
girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over
and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still
they keep quiet.
So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and
they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says
a word.
"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his
girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the
dinner table. Again, total silence.
Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend
realizes it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take
care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his
pocket.
Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all
right! I'll do the damn dishes."
This guy bursts into his house and shouts, "Pack your bags,
Honey, I just won the lottery!"
She says, "That's wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or
for the mountains?"
He replies, "I don't care-just get the hell out!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WANTED
A tall, well-built woman with good
sense of humor, who can cook frog
legs and who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good luck Mr. Gorsky
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on
the moon, he not only gave his famous 'one small step for
man, one giant leap for mankind' statement but followed it by
several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other
astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered
the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, 'Good luck
Mr. Gorsky.'
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark
concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon
checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or
American space programs. Over the years many people
questioned Armstrong as to what the 'Good luck Mr. Gorsky'
statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
On July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay, FL., while answering questions
following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old
question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr.
Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could
answer the question.
When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in
the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the
front of his neighbor's bedroom windows and Armstrong went
to get the ball.
His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to
pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting
at Mr. Gorsky: "Oral sex! You want oral sex? You'll get oral
sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doing the dishes
A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads in the
newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes
across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on
it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint
condition. He inquires about it with the owner.
"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me
how you keep it in such good shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure
that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub
Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In
fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of
Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the
buyer a tube of Vaseline.
The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He
takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic
(being a Harley fan).
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his
girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's going
to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When
the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her
boyfriend's arm.
"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my
parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk.
In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do
the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the
living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family
room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs,
dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take
advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his
girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over
and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still
they keep quiet.
So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and
they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says
a word.
"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his
girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the
dinner table. Again, total silence.
Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend
realizes it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take
care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his
pocket.
Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all
right! I'll do the damn dishes."