Something To Ponder: Problems in English Language

Đặng Hiếu Minh
(time_master)

Thành viên danh dự
If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!!! :D. This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers... ;)

REASON WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS SO HARD TO LEARN

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thouht it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to open it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections, my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
 
Next we will discuss about following problems:

There is no egg in egg-plant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or Frenchfries in French. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't "fing", grocers don't "groce" and hammers don't ham??? :-?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth "beeth"??? :-/ One goose, 2 gesse. So one moose, 2 meese??? 8-|

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but no one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them. What do you call it??? is it an odd, or an end???

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught??? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat??? In what language do poeple recite at a play and play at a recital??? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet smell??? :D

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites??? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
The concluding part of this writing

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human rece, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That's why is, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S: Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "Quick"??? :p

Yours sincerely,
Good luck!!!
 
Hey Hieu Minh ,did u get these articles from magazines or newspapers?
I was so impressed by ur English. Good job, man!
 
uh huh... i collected half of them from my friends, my teacher... and the rest is my own example!!! :D... i merged them into this post... thx 4 ur praise... :D:D:D
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
HM is awesome!!! WOW, such a genious. WOW!!! AMAZING!!! :-o


BOOK WORM ALERT!!! BOOK WORM ALERT!!! :)) :)) :)) :p
 
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