ONLY in American... (collection)

Phaminhang

Phạm Minh Hằng
(Phaminhang)

New Member
hehe... I read this in magictest.com, author: BeMaNiXbOi...

yeah, Laugh out loud... ;;) :beerchug:

>1.Only in America......can a pizza get to
>your house faster than an ambulance.
>
>
> 2. Only in America......are there
> handicap parking places in front of a
> skating rink.
>
>
> 3. Only in America......do drugstores
> make the sick walk all the way to the
> back of the store to get their
> prescriptions while healthy people can buy
> cigarettes at the front.
>
>
> 4. Only in America......do people order
> double cheeseburgers, large fries,
> and a diet coke.
>
>
> 5. Only in America......do banks leave
> both doors open and then chain the
> pens to the counters.
>
>
> 6. Only in America......do we leave cars
> worth thousands of dollars in the
> driveway and put our useless junk in the
> garage.
>
>
> 7. Only in America......do we use
> answering machines to screen calls and
> then have call waiting so we won't miss a
> call from someone we didn't want
> to talk to in the first place.
>
>
> 8. Only in America......do we buy hot
> dogs in packages of ten and buns in
> packages of eight.
>
>
> 9. Only in America......do we use the
> word 'politics' to describe the process so
well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and
> 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
>
>
> 10. Only in America......do they have
> drive-up ATM machines with Braille
> lettering.
 
:)) and there are many other strange things here.

well, last night, I had a huge pizza with a diet coke..
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
Only in America is gasoline cheaper than water although water comes from the sky, unlimited while gasoline is under the ground and we will run out of it someday.

(that's what my econ teacher said) ;)
 
here are some jokes I read in an American magazine:
RULES FOR LIVING

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a
weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground
easily, it is a valuable plant.
~~~~~~~~
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
~~~~~~~~
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
~~~~~~~~
There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.

~~~~~~~~
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
~~~~~~~~
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who
said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
~~~~~~~~
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
~~~~~~~~
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
~~~~~~~~
Get the last word in: Apologize.
~~~~~~~~
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
~~~~~~~~~
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
~~~~~~~~~
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they use to?
~~~~~~~~~
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
~~~~~~~~~
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
~~~~~~~~~
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
~~~~~~~~~
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
~~~~~~~~~
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

:D
 
Has anyone here been to a school dance? Oh my god, It was horrible for me, maybe one of the worst time in my life.... God damn it, I suck, stupid asshole....
Can u guys tell me ur experience if u have tried it? please!!!!
 
There was a school dance in my school! But I didn't come......... cos I don't have a lot of friends, this is my first year, maybe next time I'll come.......

sorry, I have no experience.... :p
 
I have been to 3 school dances. Actually I just danced a little bit and then watched people. Dance is not for Asian students.
If you have lots of close friends, maybe dance will be better.
 
right, I personally think that kind of dancing is not for Asian students. It's not simply dancing... but... sorry but I have to say It's more likely ass-shaking..... and the girls and the boys do some stuffs that Asian students might never do :p
 
Why don't you shake your ass? :D and don't do these stuffs. :D
 
Well actually I did but as I said before, It was horrible....
 
well, to me it 's not that horrible. I just meant none of the Asian students in my school go to the dance except me :D I go to the dance to hang out with people rather than actually dance. :p hehe.. to be honest, shaking ass is not so easy.
 
Nguyen Quang Minh đã viết:
right, I personally think that kind of dancing is not for Asian students. It's not simply dancing... but... sorry but I have to say It's more likely ass-shaking..... and the girls and the boys do some stuffs that Asian students might never do :p
Nhấn để mở rộng...
I know what you mean. But for me: first dance, just sit there watching. Second time: joined, why not? I just danced the way I wanted. I actually had fun with my friends. B-)
 
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