Murphy's Laws

[Hồ Lê Việt Hưng (Atonix)]

:mrgreen: I guess most of you have heard of Murphy's Law, which originally was "If anything can go wrong, it will". It was named after Capt. Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working on Air Force Project MX981, (a project) designed to see how much sudden deceleration a person can stand in a crash.

One day, after finding that a transducer was wired wrong, he cursed the technician responsible and said, "If there is any way to do it wrong, he'll find it."

The contractor's project manager kept a list of "laws" and added this one, which he called Murphy's Law. I find these laws pretty interesting and ... true The fact is: most often on my unlucky days, every single thing seems to go wrong :cry: Believe it or not, these laws, although seemingly don't have a scientific basis, have been very famous and become something people often blame for when they have an unlucky day: "Oh, it is just one of the Murphy's Law Days" :mrgreen:

General Laws

If anything can go wrong, it will.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong

If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.

Mother nature is a bitch.

Things get worse under pressure.

Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Everything goes wrong all at once.

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.

 

[Hồ Lê Việt Hưng (Atonix)]

Love Laws

All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.

The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.

Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
This constant is always zero.

The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.

The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.

Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

Not for U18

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

When a man wants his wife to hear, she doesn't listen.

When that same man doesn't want his wife to hear, she's all ears.

It's always easier to get a partner if you already have one.

Although it may seem like that on the outside, no one is having fun being single

Love and high-school must NEVER go together.

If you believe a relationship can't work, but feel the need to try, it won't.

The ABC rule:
If A is attracted to B, and you are attracted to C, A has a better chance with B than you do with C.
B and C are often the same person.

If any things will happen on the first date, you won't have a condom.

Girls are like toilet rooms. Either it is taken, or full of sh*t.

If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one.

Being honest with someone will always turn that person into an enemy.

When you're girlfriend says that you have to talk the relationship is over.

The day you decide to tell you're girlfriend you could not live without her she will leave you the next day.

The more you want a women the least she will want you.

When she says: "Don't buy me anything expensive" and you listen, expect to be single.

The mother of the man, or the father of the woman you love will invariably hate you.

When you take your time getting ready your date will arrive 20 min. early; when you're on time they're 30 min. late.

Procrastination is a lot like masturbation, it feels good until you realize your just fucking yourself

Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.

 

[Đỗ Lan Anh (Gabyy)]

Murphy was an optimist

Anything that can go wrong,will go wrong

1.Celibacy is not hereditory

2.Beauty is only skin deep,but urgly goes to the bone

3.Never argue with the full,people might not know the difference

4.Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate

5.The other queue always moves faster

6.Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought (it's true,in it ? )

7.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

8.The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before

9.Anything good in life is either illegal,immoral or fattening

10.Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the Gold make the Rules

11.In order to get a loan,you must first prove you don't need it

12.The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train ( phải học cái này mãi mới khỏi khóc nhè :cry: )