Just a thought

[Phạm Thị Hồng Nhung (nhungph)]

JUST A THOUGHT...


A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you’re ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beercans.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn’t live there?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Go ahead and take risks....just be sure that everything will turn out OK.

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.



Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

 

[Nguyễn Đức (Vicini)]

Subject: observations

1. Men are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but you still
can't
help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

2. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end
and
think, "Well, that's not going to happen".

3. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying
of nothing.

4. The other night I ate at a really nice family restaurant. Every
table
had an argument going.

5. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder in the car these
days,
no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to?

6. You know when you're sitting on a chair & you lean back so you're
just
on two legs, then you lean too far & you almost fall over but at the
last
second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

7. According to a recent survey, men say that the first thing they
notice
about a woman are their eyes. And women say that the first thing they
notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to
criticism.

10. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 & a substantial tax
cut
save you thirty cents?

11. I'm not 50-something. I'm $49.95, plus shipping and handling.

12. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
IS
weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

13. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have
come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

14. There's a theory that states that if anyone discovers exactly what
the
Universe is for & why it's here; it will instantly disappear & be
replaced
by something even more bizarre & inexplicable. There's another theory
that
states that this has already happened.

15. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes
a whole box to start a campfire?

16. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait six weeks for an appointment
and
he says, "I wish you'd have come to me sooner."

17. You read about all these terrorists. Most of them came here
legally,
but they hung around on expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster's Video-you're two days late & people
are
all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!