I wonder

holamson

Hồ Lam Sơn
(holamson)

New Member
* Topic: Poem
* Title: I wonder
* Writer's name: Hồ Lam Sơn
* Class and high school: Tin 01-04 Tổng Hợp
Email: [email protected]
* Current school: Williams College - Williamstown, MA 01267

***************************
I wonder

What do we do, us human?
Ramble around in shrouding mist, looking for things we don’t know exist?

Some say they are wiser,
for what they do and what they think.
Yet under what light
That they know the right from wrong?
The Light, as some calls it?
I wonder…

The greats were great, and still are.
They do not choose to be, they are chosen!
They don’t stray,
They walk lines,
Their own lines,
To destiny.
I am who I am and you are who you are.
We are chosen.
I walk my line,
And you do yours.
Rambling that is when we don’t see the line we walk.
Who can?
Yet it doesn’t stop us from keep walking, does it.
Just step one step and it will be a right step.

“What matters then, if I can’t step aside from my line?” - One might ask
… Things beyond… I’d say.
Our life is still too small.
In the end it’s all oblivion,
Doesn’t keep me from wondering.


Hồ Lam Sơn
Williamstown - Oct 2005
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
I like this one, really.

But sound like an old poem, isn't it? I don't understand it clearly, very indefinite :|.

Can you tell me a little bit about your idea ^^?
 
Nguyen Hoang Duy đã viết:
I like this one, really.

But sound like an old poem, isn't it? I don't understand it clearly, very indefinite :|.

Can you tell me a little bit about your idea ^^?
Nhấn để mở rộng...
Hey Duy, Thanks for your question. :)
It would be bad if I analyzed my own poem ;). So I will just mention a few points about it.
The whole idea of the poem is that: are there things beyond human's understanding? If there are, then do they matter? Note that these are questions. That's why the poem's title is the way it is.
Another part that maybe obscure to people is the walk-the-line part. It is an idea about destiny. Do people have choices in their life or everything is determined for them?
It's puzzling, isn't it? Keep on wondering.
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
Comments from the Writing Contest Board of Examiners

“The author has done a good job putting philosophical ideas in a simple way that makes reading this poem pleasant. Curiosity is a very universal feeling; thus, it’s easy for readers to relate the poem to their own experiences. Short lines with parallel images have proved to be really effective in this poem. The weakness here is that the author is tempted to come to a conclusion. In other words, he/she feels the need to come up with a moral “Just step one step and it will be a right step.” Sometimes there doesn’t have to be one, especially in poetry. Once there is a conclusion, it has to base on other assumptions, which may or may not be true. A bit more focus on the “wondering” part with some examples will make the poem more interesting.”

“A philosophical poem which poses the question if there exists something greater than us all, which is more justified to judge right from wrong in this life. I have to confess that my head spinned around a little bit when reading this poem, even though I think it is a good one.”
 
Hồ Lam Sơn đã viết:
* Topic: Poem
* Title: I wonder
* Writer's name: Hồ Lam Sơn
* Class and high school: Tin 01-04 Tổng Hợp
Email: [email protected]
* Current school: Williams College - Williamstown, MA 01267

***************************
I wonder

What do we do, us human?
Ramble around in shrouding mist, looking for things we don’t know exist?

Some say they are wiser,
for what they do and what they think.
Yet under what light
That they know the right from wrong?
The Light, as some calls it?
I wonder…

The greats were great, and still are.
They do not choose to be, they are chosen!
They don’t stray,
They walk lines,
Their own lines,
To destiny.
I am who I am and you are who you are.
We are chosen.
I walk my line,
And you do yours.
Rambling that is when we don’t see the line we walk.
Who can?
Yet it doesn’t stop us from keep walking, does it.
Just step one step and it will be a right step.

“What matters then, if I can’t step aside from my line?” - One might ask
… Things beyond… I’d say.
Our life is still too small.
In the end it’s all oblivion,
Doesn’t keep me from wondering.


Hồ Lam Sơn
Williamstown - Oct 2005
Nhấn để mở rộng...

I'll talk about my old poem "I wonder". Ok, so I think the poem was full of cr@p. (I wouldn't say that if someone else wrote it haha.) So the poem first poses some philosophical questions, which is kind of redundant, and then gives the opinion regarding determinism. It's like this world is completely determined, just keep on living and you will arrive at your destiny. Actually you don't have a choice to keep on living, because everything is determined, we just think that we have choices to make, we don't. So that makes us look like programmed robots, things that don't matter. There's nothing right, nothing wrong, everything is just what it is, programmed. What matters is out there, beyond our reach and understanding...
You see, it's full of crap isn't it? (or maybe it's too much truth that doesn't do anybody any good.) The poem tries to deal with stuff that are beyond it scope, and kind of look down on all others. It doesn't do anyone any good really. Cause if everybody just let go and let their fate takes care of everything then it would suck, badly. Heroes are the ones who don't believe in fate, they believe that they have a choice and can make a difference. You want to be a hero who holds on and triumphs, you don't want to be a coward who lets go and loses.
That's right. What matters is "this reality", things that we can touch, can change. No bastard becomes a hero by dreaming of the Infinity and Gods and such. You all have a choice. You all can make a difference.
[everybody cheers =D> ]
That is all. Thank you.
 
Son, my buddy (I was about going to write oh, my Son, but.... \:d/ ). You're growing up, but you're not very right.

Every poems are full of crap; they wrote poems to pull the craps out of their mind. I did say that I don't understand you poem, didn't I? Being your good friend, I can't say that it's full o crap :D .

Besides, it's really important who're reading your poem. Many religion people may believe in "unalterable life" (sometimes I believe in that, you know, I'm smart and hard-working but why didn't I get better grades more offten ;)) ).

Last but not least, don't study too much buddy :-t . Let's play some counter-strike, however, if you "study" hard enough, you can decide your life in that game \:d/ .

D.

PS: This's what I call a real life, oh yeah, "And as "requested" , I thank my friend Duy here who gave me a chance to get some attention for my poem."
 
No one compose poem any more ?!? so sad ... it's so gr8 to write down our feeling ...
' Who am I in this confused world?!? - I wonder
Sometimes I've been lost n can't find the way out
Looking around for a light of hope
Then I've been suffered from the painful truth
No one there to catch me
No one stretch a hand to pull me back the reality
I'm afraid of waiting in this deadly silence ...
wat if they don't come n leave me down here on my own
man I can't help it , am falling down n down...passing through my memories
The black hole below... I can feel its unlimited coldness is killing me
...Tears come up n pains r hidden inside
please tell me this is just a nightmare 'cos am about to explode...
 
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