Trần Thiên Phước
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Thành viên danh dự
What is egotism. According to my understanding it is the self-concern for one's dignity , this, it is similar to "human dignity". It is also the unique reactions of one's in response to others' actions acting on him...this, it can be called also personality... it can be called in various names, since it is one of the most important factor to humans.
It is something that subconsciously control our actions. Have you ever felt that you are so offened and angered that you did something you'd never usually do? Or have u acted toward a person not the way that u often act toward people because that one has said something really offended u, and just kept putting u down? Or have u felt u are so ignored and people don't care about u that u feel u'r nothing and so depressed?
Egotism is something that is so important to us that we're willing to defend all enemies regardless of who they are or what they stand for. Have you ever felt that u are so mad at someone because he/she just kept putting u down in front of other people, and u want even by catching ever minor mistakes he does and make a big deal out of them, despite the facts that u know all the things he said about u was not all wrong, but still, u just can't stand that guy?
There are four principles of egotism:
1. We are all egotists.
2. We are more interested in ourselves than in anything else in the world.
3. Every person you meet wants to feel important and to "amount to something".
4. There is a craving in every human being for the approval of others, so he can approve of himself
(in case if someone says that they are not always right, i admit that i'm not even myself certain that they're right in every circumstances, but most circumstances, therefore i don't want to take that risk believing the one i'm dealing with is out of those 4 principles, which is rare, very rare.)
Why do we need to know all these? Statistic calculation of psychologists about the result of the reasons for laidoffs shows that failure in work amounts about only 10%, but failure in dealing with colleagues, and bosses is 90 % ; also chances of promotion, getting things work out as expected, it is a wonder that one with less talent and less knowledge, but great in public relation most of the time outdo one with real talent and more knowledge. A more obvious proof that "nịnh thần" often won the control of the government court.(i kinda watched not a few chinese movies>__<)
The thing is, everyone wants to feel important, feel that they're worth of something, and needs appreciation to feed their ego (not just empty appreciation, but don't u feel angry when u spent a lot of times, and effort doing something, and no one bother gives u any credit for that, u need acknowledgement and creditability for ur work)...along with the food chain to feed ego is acceptance (don't u feel uncomfortable to be around people that just sidelook at u when u walk in, or talk behind ur back, and kind of discrimiate or have prejudice against u?), also approval, no one's perfect, but no one's absolutely dumb....neither are we, so don't we feel annoyed by people who just try to find every minor mistakes we make and just condemn us about them; or dont' we feel more refreshed, and more enthusiastic when someone approves of our work, and we then try to get it done better.
My point is, everyone's egotist, and there's nothing wrong with it...so don't feel bad if we value ourselves so much...but on the other hand, other people have the same situation as we do....they value themselves too, and it's just as natural... it's better to avoid crossing on their egos, because they'd most likely try to strike back at urs. Understand the importance of egotism, we'd know some better way in dealing with other people in a positive way, and when u are in a good terms with people, they'd most likely treat u back nicely.
(the ideas, i take from the book named "how to have confidence and power in dealing with people" of Les Giblin)
(to be continued)
It is something that subconsciously control our actions. Have you ever felt that you are so offened and angered that you did something you'd never usually do? Or have u acted toward a person not the way that u often act toward people because that one has said something really offended u, and just kept putting u down? Or have u felt u are so ignored and people don't care about u that u feel u'r nothing and so depressed?
Egotism is something that is so important to us that we're willing to defend all enemies regardless of who they are or what they stand for. Have you ever felt that u are so mad at someone because he/she just kept putting u down in front of other people, and u want even by catching ever minor mistakes he does and make a big deal out of them, despite the facts that u know all the things he said about u was not all wrong, but still, u just can't stand that guy?
There are four principles of egotism:
1. We are all egotists.
2. We are more interested in ourselves than in anything else in the world.
3. Every person you meet wants to feel important and to "amount to something".
4. There is a craving in every human being for the approval of others, so he can approve of himself
(in case if someone says that they are not always right, i admit that i'm not even myself certain that they're right in every circumstances, but most circumstances, therefore i don't want to take that risk believing the one i'm dealing with is out of those 4 principles, which is rare, very rare.)
Why do we need to know all these? Statistic calculation of psychologists about the result of the reasons for laidoffs shows that failure in work amounts about only 10%, but failure in dealing with colleagues, and bosses is 90 % ; also chances of promotion, getting things work out as expected, it is a wonder that one with less talent and less knowledge, but great in public relation most of the time outdo one with real talent and more knowledge. A more obvious proof that "nịnh thần" often won the control of the government court.(i kinda watched not a few chinese movies>__<)
The thing is, everyone wants to feel important, feel that they're worth of something, and needs appreciation to feed their ego (not just empty appreciation, but don't u feel angry when u spent a lot of times, and effort doing something, and no one bother gives u any credit for that, u need acknowledgement and creditability for ur work)...along with the food chain to feed ego is acceptance (don't u feel uncomfortable to be around people that just sidelook at u when u walk in, or talk behind ur back, and kind of discrimiate or have prejudice against u?), also approval, no one's perfect, but no one's absolutely dumb....neither are we, so don't we feel annoyed by people who just try to find every minor mistakes we make and just condemn us about them; or dont' we feel more refreshed, and more enthusiastic when someone approves of our work, and we then try to get it done better.
My point is, everyone's egotist, and there's nothing wrong with it...so don't feel bad if we value ourselves so much...but on the other hand, other people have the same situation as we do....they value themselves too, and it's just as natural... it's better to avoid crossing on their egos, because they'd most likely try to strike back at urs. Understand the importance of egotism, we'd know some better way in dealing with other people in a positive way, and when u are in a good terms with people, they'd most likely treat u back nicely.
(the ideas, i take from the book named "how to have confidence and power in dealing with people" of Les Giblin)
(to be continued)
