Dreams

[Nguyễn Thành Trung (SHIV@)]

* Topic: Poem
* Title: Dreams
* Writer's name: Nguyễn Thành Trung
* Class and high school: Sinh 01-04 Hà Nội - Amsterdam
Email : [email protected]
Telephone: 0983.061386
Address: 202 Ba Trieu street,Ha Noi city,Viet Nam country

Dreams

I've ever had many dreams
Every where and every minutes
When I am sleeping I was leaded
To the dreams
Unbeliveable

It's the world of the fighters
Where you have to keep your sword
War doesn't stop without a river of blood
I hate all
But slayer no cry

It's the world of the toys
Where you can't breathe,can't move and speak
I am very weak
The little sad doll
Feels teribble

It's the world of the angels
Where all days you fly and play and sing and love
Like I hope
The wonder life
Forever

Do you know there are three worlds inside the people?
In the dreams,I always tell the truth
About three emotions in my heart:
Cruel
Fright
And hopeful

 

[Đặng Kim Anh (Mask of Lead)]

There is nothing that I can tell but the words:"Cool!".I really like my dreams so that i really like this poem.Seems like u have the same feelings with me,Big Bro...Looking forward to your new dreamy poems

 

[Nguyễn Vân Mai (nvanmai)]

Comments from the Writing Contest Board of Examiners:

“The content is pretty good. The author seems to have a clear idea right from the beginning of what she/ he will write about. The structure of three stanzas is sensible. However, this is also the weakness of this poem. The author is too conscious of the content that the poem lacks surprises and creativity. The images in the poem are not so original. The grammar is good but there are some typos which should have been avoided.”

“There are many grammatical mistakes in this poem, which makes it hard for readers to really appreciate it. For example, the writer failed to use parallel structure (Cruel, fright, hopeful _ they should be either all nouns or all adjectives). Spelling errors like "unbelievable" also makes the poem a lot less appealing.”