Am email to a professor

Võ Thanh Trọng Nhân
(BabyDino)

New Member
An email to a professor

A professor, in his reply to my email asking information about assistantship, has sent me the link to the programs he directs and told me to pick some that I find interesting and explain why. Following is my reply to him. May my email receive tips from pros in here? ;;)

Much obliged.

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Dear Professor,

I am much obliged to you for your reply and your precious advice on how to find assistantships. After receiving the link, I have scanned the website and found out that the Master’s in Urban Planning (M.U.P) is really interesting. Also it is very nice to learn that you have won a top national honor when receiving the Jay Chatterjee Award for Distinguished Service to the Association of Collegiate Schools of Planning (ACSP).

Following are the motivations that make me interested in the M.U.P program.

As a developing country, Vietnam, particularly Hochiminh city where I live, is now facing many onerous issues stemming from both past and recent improper planning. One of the perennial problems in my city in the rains is floods over large urban areas. When there is heavy precipitation, water may rise as high as 40 centimeters or more spreading over streets killing almost all kinds of transportation. Perpetual efforts to improve draining systems have seemed to be a fiasco: floods still recur and thus money spent on such efforts has been almost completely wasted. Another problem is, as urban population proliferates, traffic congestion eventuates more and more often during rush hours. Most streets bequeathed after the Vietnam War are becoming antiquated. They are either in too bad condition or, if having been reconditioned, too narrow to serve effectually. Clearance of buildings alongside such streets, especially those in central districts, to widen them does not seem efficient on account of exorbitant compensation costs, not to mention the interference in people’s daily living when it takes place. Moreover, the refuse after the floods go down and exhaust fumes during traffic congestion, in turn, contribute to aggravating the urban pollution which has been severe enough due to the dense population, while verdures are way too sparse.

Multi-storied buildings are emerging as a remedy. But still, there are new problems arising. The media has recently notified the arbitrary construction of huge apartment buildings in the city, some obtruded upon populous residential areas, some erected separately without consideration of overall esthetic as well as long-term effects. Each of such buildings may contain about 1000 people or more with hundreds of means of transportation, so if they are built in crowded residential areas, congestion during rush hours may be the inevitable. The drainage which was just adequate to serve the former population of the areas now becomes overloaded having to carry the burden of the new mass of people, and some buildings constructed in narrow alleys make it very difficult to fight fire when it occurs. Moreover, where and how to provide everyday entertainments and activities for such a huge number of people compacted within such tight areas are vexed questions.

Apart from the emergence of multi-storied buildings, Hochiminh city is also being expanded to adjacent suburban areas as another remedy. Be that as it may, if wise planning is not taken into account, the city will probably follow the same old wrong track again in the future.

Above are some of the conspicuous problems I have observed in my city, which supposedly are similar to those in other provinces of the country. Having taken a close look at the curriculum of the M.U.P program, thus being aware of the usefulness of the knowledge it can impart to help relieve those problems, I am intrigued.

Actually I also find the dual Master’s in Architecture/Master’s in Urban Planning (M.Arch./M.U.P.) interesting, but due to the lack of relevant knowledge about architecture, I would prefer the M.U.P program. As to the five specializations offered, Environmental Planning and Urban Design are appealing to me, for I think they suit my desire to alleviate the contemporary problems in my country, some of which are mentioned above.

I would like to express again my gratitude to you for your time and concern. I am looking forward to your reply.

Yours Sincerely,

Nhan Vo


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P.S. As soon as possible, please :D
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
My second try :(

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Dear Professor,

I am much obliged to you for your reply and your precious advice on how to find assistantships. After receiving the link, I have scanned the website and found out that the Master’s in Urban Planning (M.U.P) is really interesting. Also it is very nice to learn that you have won a top national honor when receiving the Jay Chatterjee Award for Distinguished Service to the Association of Collegiate Schools of Planning (ACSP).

Following are some onerous issues stemming from both past and recent improper planning in Hochiminh city where I live.

The first problem that happens perennially in the rains is floods over large urban areas due to unwise construction of draining systems. When there is heavy precipitation, water may rise as high as 40 centimeters or more spreading over streets killing almost all kinds of transportation. Perpetual efforts to improve draining systems have seemed to be a fiasco: floods still recur and thus money spent on such efforts has been almost completely wasted.

Another problem that results from injudicious planning of road system is traffic congestion during rush hours. Most streets bequeathed after the Vietnam War are becoming antiquated and fail to serve the proliferating urban population. They are now either in too bad condition or, if having been reconditioned, too narrow to fulfill their task. Clearance of buildings alongside such streets, especially those in central districts, to widen them does not seem efficient on account of exorbitant compensation costs, not to mention the interference in people’s daily living when it takes place. Moreover, the refuse after the floods go down and exhaust fumes during traffic congestion, in turn, contribute to aggravating the urban pollution which has been severe enough due to the dense population, while verdures are way too sparse.

Multi-storied buildings are emerging as a remedy. But still, there are new problems arising. The media has recently notified the arbitrary construction of huge apartment buildings in the city, some obtruded upon populous residential areas, some erected separately without consideration of overall esthetic as well as long-term effects. Each of such buildings may contain about 1000 people or more with hundreds of means of transportation, so if they are built in crowded residential areas, congestion during rush hours may be the inevitable. The drainage which was just adequate to serve the former population of the areas now becomes overloaded having to carry the burden of the new mass of people, and some buildings constructed in narrow alleys make it very difficult to fight fire when it occurs. Moreover, where and how to provide everyday entertainments and activities for such a huge number of people compacted within such tight areas are vexed questions.

Apart from the emergence of multi-storied buildings, Hochiminh city is also being expanded to adjacent suburban areas as another remedy. Be that as it may, if wise planning is not taken into account, the city will probably follow the same old wrong track again in the future.

The problems above indicate the current ignorance of urban planning in Vietnam which also is the most important reason why I wish to take M.U.P. Besides, as there are no graduate programs in this field over here at present, studying overseas is my only way. Finally, I find the curriculum of M.U.P provides subjects that really meet my demand. I especially like the two specializations Environmental Planning and Urban Design.

Actually I also find the dual Master’s in Architecture/Master’s in Urban Planning (M.Arch./M.U.P.) interesting, but due to the lack of relevant knowledge about architecture, I would prefer the M.U.P program.

I would like to express again my gratitude to you for your time and concern. I am looking forward to your reply.

Yours Sincerely,

Nhan Vo
 
does this email determine whether you get accepted at that program or not? or is it merely to tell ur professor which Master program you want?
it sounds good to me ;) some minor changes in the tone would be good but not necessary ;)
 
The professor himself doesn't completely determine whether I am accepted, but a favorable impression on him is never dispensable.

Some of my friends told me to lessen the "khách sáo" tone in my writing. Is that also what you mean?

My final shot (after receiving a few comments from friends)

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Dear Professor,

Thank you very much for your reply and your advice on how to find assistantships. I have reviewed the website that you sent me, and found out that I am really interested in the Master’s in Urban Planning (M.U.P) program. I am also impressed by your achievements in this field, particularly your receiving the Jay Chatterjee Award for Distinguished Service to the Association of Collegiate Schools of Planning (ACSP).

Following are some of the reasons why I am interested in the M.U.P program. They stem from my desire to contribute something positive to my country, particularly to my hometown, Hochiminh city. I would like to gain the necessary training and knowledge to help my government alleviate the following urbanization problems:

The first problem which happens annually during the rainy season is flooding over large urban areas because of poorly designed and constructed drainage systems. Whenever there is a heavy rainfall, water may rise 40 centimeters or higher flooding many streets and stopping all traffic. Perpetual efforts to improve drainage systems have proven ineffective to date: floods still recur and money spent on flood control has seemingly appeared completely ill-spent.

Another problem that results from inadequate planning of road system is rush-hour traffic congestion. Most streets left behind at the end of the war are getting old and fail to serve the proliferating urban population. They are either in too bad condition or, if having been reconditioned, too narrow to fulfill their tasks. Clearance of buildings alongside such streets, especially those in central districts, to widen them has proven to be very difficult on account of exorbitant compensation costs, not to mention the interference in people’s daily lives when it takes place. Moreover, the refuse left after the floods are gone and exhaust fumes generated during traffic congestion have contributed to aggravating pollution already burdened with dense urban population and lack of green open space.

Multi-storied buildings are emerging as a remedy. Yet, new problems have come up. The media has recently reported on the arbitrary and haphazard construction of huge residential buildings in the city, some impinging upon populous residential areas, some erected separately without any consideration for overall esthetic as well as long-term effects. Each of these buildings may contain about 1000 people or more with hundreds of means of transportation requiring access to and from the streets, so if they are built in crowded residential areas, congestion during rush hours may be inevitable. The drainage system, barely adequate to serve the former population of the areas, now becomes overloaded with the new mass of people, and some buildings constructed in narrow alleys are particularly prone to fire hazards. Moreover, it is a daunting task to provide entertainment and plan activities for such a large group of people compacted in such tight areas.

Apart from the emergence of multi-storied buildings, the expansion of the city into adjacent suburban areas is another remedy. However, unless there is a well-thought-out plan in place incorporating modern planning design and concepts, the city will most likely commit the same development mistakes as before.

The problems above indicate the dearth of urban planning in Vietnam as well as the importance of planned development in urban environment, which is the most important reason why I wish to pursue my M.U.P. Besides, as there are no graduate programs in this field in Vietnam at present, studying overseas is my only alternative. Finally, I find that the M.U.P curriculum incorporates subjects meeting my demands, especially the specialized studies in Environmental Planning and Urban Design.

Although I also find the dual Master’s degree in Architecture/Master’s in Urban Planning (M.Arch./M.U.P.) interesting, I could not pick this degree as I don’t have the required training in architecture. Therefore, my choice of study will be the M.U.P program.

I would like to express once more my thanks and gratitude to you for your attention and assistance. Looking forward to your favorable reply, I remain.

Sincerely yours,

Nhan Vo
 
Chỉnh sửa lần cuối:
How long is the professor's email ?

I think you are going to scare the professor. PhD people are not politicians, admission officiers or human resource employees. You don't have to be this formal in am email. If the professor wants something from you, he will say so. An email with one or two short paragraphs will do the job.

This is strictly personal point of view, if I step on your toes then please forgive and ignore me.
 
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