@ Hằng: :> dĩ nhiên là ảnh ở đâu tao cũng có hết, trog phòng tắm tao cũng có :> Mà tự kỷ có online bao h đâu :-w thật là, coi thường người khác quá sức [-x =)) =))
vừa lục lọi lại đống bài TA của mình =)) thấy cái này hay wa, share cho cả nhà nhá
Two Referees were sitting on bar stools having a drink or two after the game. The older Referee starts to insult the younger one. He screams "I slept with your mother!"
The bar room goes quiet and everyone looks towards the two Referees,….waiting with baited breath to see how the young Assistant will react.
The older Referee screams again. "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The younger Referee says:
"Go home Dad, you’re drunk".
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The Referee is waiting patiently for his bus after the game, and is happily eating his supper from out of the bag. An old lady's dog nearby gets excited by the smell of the food and starts jumping up and down and barking with pleading eyes towards the Referee.
"Do you mind if I throw him a bit", says the Ref.
"Not at all" replies the old lady with a thankful smile.So he picks up the dog and throws it over the wall.
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Quotes From Sports Commentators"
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother."
Murray Walker, "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." =))
Greg Norman, "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
Alan Minter, "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."=))
Terry Venables, "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
Ron Atkinson, "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it - you can see it all over their faces."
Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977, "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."
Metro Radio, "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics: "There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
US TV Commentator, "One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold Palmer] is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them, oh my G~d! What have I just said?" =)) =))
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A young Referee had just started his own company to provide Referee equipment. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with the most expensive office equipment that money could buy. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the Referee picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big order for Referee equipment to process. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone.
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An Assistant Referee turns up for a game with both his ears bandaged up. "What happened to your ears?" asks the Referee. The Assistant Referee replies: "Yesterday I was ironing my Referee’s top when the phone rang. I accidentally answered the iron."
"That explains one ear, but what happened to the other one?" continues the Referee.
"Well, I had to call the doctor!" says the Assistant Referee.
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A young Referee was leaving the DRA’s office late one evening when he found the ARA standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the ARA, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young Referee. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the ARA as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
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After dying in a car crash, three Referees go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same question, "When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first Assistant Referee immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great Assistant Referees of my time, and a great family man."
The second Assistant Referee says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and teacher of the Laws of the game who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow." The last guy (the Referee) thinks for a moment, and then replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say, 'Look, he's moving!'"
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A Referee had a near death experience the other day when he went cycling, in an effort to get fit. Everything was going fine until the cycle started running away down hill and bouncing out of control. He tried with all his might to hang on, but was thrown off. With his foot caught in a pedal, he fell headfirst to the ground. His head continued to bounce on the ground as he and the bicycle did not stop or even slow down. Just as he was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Sports Centre manager came out and unplugged it. Thank goodness for heroes.
=)) =))